It’s Christmas Day. I’ve had enough mimosas to put a cow down and the wife is sleeping it off on the couch under the crit-pile. The Mighty Boosh menu screen is playing on repeat. I should go to bed. I did enough yammering about records in the last review update…I’m not even sure I like music anymore. Here’s a few titles and tidbits that will have ta’ do. In no particular order.

The Long Players:

1.Human Eye "They Came From the Sky" LP (Sacred Bones)
It’s been a (stellar) uphill climb for Timmy & Co. and this is their peak. If they top this, my head might explode. TOUR THE WEST COAST ALREADY.

2. GG King "Esoteric Lore" LP (Rob's House/Scavenger of Death)
A varied run thru everything great about punk. It’s like a love letter to the KBD or Bloodstains comps, all done by one guy (band).

3. Sex Church "Growing Over" LP (Load)
Read what I said about Human Eye. Same goes for these kids. At least they’ve been kind enough to grace a stage near by. Jeesh.

4. Condominium "Warm Home"LP (Condominium)
They continue to restore my faith in humanity, record releasing and the “hardcore”. Noise rock damaged kids on their way to being kings.

5. Total Control "Henge Beat" LP (Iron Lung)
A synth band that ain’t Goth or dance-puss. Refreshing in all sortsa’ ways.

6. Baddat for Trubbel "Det Har Ar Inte New York" LP (Punks Only)
Totally caught off guard by the classic punkrock stylings on here…and still shocked that it grabbed me by the nutsack so tightly. Good game, gents.

7. Crazy Spirit "Demo" LP (Quality Control)
Does it count if the tape version came out last year? Who cares?! Worthy of the hype. Looks and sound great on flat wax.

8. True Sons of Thunder "Spoonful of Seedy Dudes" LP (Jeth-Row)
Richie has Folded Shirt (I assume. 2 years running.) I’ll take this. Dumb thunderous punk for booger-eaters and Blight aficionados out there. All ten of you. The ones who don’t by Fresh & Onlys records.

9. Thee Cormans "Halloween Record..." LP (In the Red)
Sure, it’s a kitschy gimmick filled record. But damn, they’re great at it. Probably the only surf/biker/horror sound effects LP I’ve given a duck-fuck about since Destroy All Astro-men dropped umpteen years ago. For fans of musick. REAL budget returns!

10. Video "Leather Leather" LP (Play Pinball!)
A last minute entry. Just weird/straight forward enough to entertain me in a way I haven’t been since the Daily Void onslaught of mid-aughts (and that’s funny when you think about it…).

The Contenders: The Men "Leave Home" LP (Sacred Bones); Cheater Slicks "Live Vol.1" LP (Columbus Discount); Pink Reason "Shit in the Garden" LP (Siltbreeze); Michael Yonkers & the Blind Shake “Period” LP (S-S Records); Nothing People “Smells Like Metal” LP (Captcha); Butcher Cover "s/t" LP (Rotted Tooth) (fuggit...I'm proud);and maybe if I owned them: Plates, Frustrations & Kim Phuc LPs.

The Compilations:

"Tarantismo Summit Vol.2" LP (Batshit) or "Wings Over Gabba" LP (Negative Guest List)
– Fuck punk/Let’s art. Pick a flavor.

The Reissues:

1. The Reatards "Teenage Hate + Demos" 2xLP (Goner)
Yup, I still got an original. But those demos, man…zoinks! And the package looks real sweet. Bravo. (Stoked on the SSLD Lost Sounds as well!)

2. Deaf Wish "s/t" LP (Radio Records)
Great unknown package I bought on a whim. A good’un.

3. Black Humor "Love God, Love One Another" LP (Superior Viaduct)
See my gushing review. Gorgeous packaging and possibly one of the best 123 punk punches of all time on the topside. All bands should sound like this.

4. Flaming Lips "Hit to Death in the Future Head" LP (Warner Bros.)
Card carrying fanboy of their early years, right here. Still proud of ‘em. I had to buy a pricey RSD box-set just to get my hands on it, but it sure beats sending $200+ to the Netherlands.

5. Maniac "Original Soundtrack" LP (Mondo)
Great soundtrack gets a very limited and classy re-release. Go Mondo. Go Drafthouse.

The Contenders: Mr. Gasser & The Weird-Ohs "Hot Rod Hootenanny" LP (Sundazed); Cheater Slicks "Our Food Is Chaos" LP+7" (Almost Ready); Werewolves on Wheels soundtrack CD/LP (Finders Keepers); Dead Moon "Unknown Passage” or “In The Graveyard" LPs (Mississippi); Unnatural Helpers "s/t" LP (1234Go!)

The Singles/EPs:

1. Pink Reason "Desperate Living" 7" (Almost Ready)
Kevin’s most outright aggro moment since seeing them live in 2007 or so. A battering ram of bad vibe and a V3 cover to boot.

2. Timmy's Organism 7" (Hozac Singles Club)
The reason I joined the club. Did not disappoint. One solid space-rager and an early solo Vulgarism from the turn of the century. Sweet deal.

3. Hatefuck "R&R Letdown" EP (Negative Guest List)
From the Proto Pink Archives and even better than ya’ thought possible. Hardcore, noise rock and butchered garage from where it counts: The Midwest. Someone at MRR hated it. Fuck them. They’re stupid.

4. Red Mass "Crawlspace"/ "Drink My Blood" 7"es (Certified PR/Hozac)
I’m a big fan of all this Mass stuff, but most folks find ‘em too weird or suffering of a spotty catalog. This would be a good starting point for the turkeys out there. Freaked out and mean garage riffage. Think CPC.

5. Dead Neanderthals "s/t" 7" (Batshit)
If Druid Perfume is what happens when the Piranhas hear too much Zappa/Beefheart…then this is what happens when they live on a steady diet of Napalm Death and Brotzmann. Jazz for me.

6. Drugs Dragons "Milorganite" 12” (Dusty Medical)
The Tonys take it up a notch from last year even. Green slime.

7. Outdoorsmen "Tell Your Mom (I’m A Goner)" 7” (Psychic Handshake)
Never paid too much attention to these cats prior, but this one is a total gut-puncher. Solid and varied sounds.

8. Jack Ruby "Hit & Run" 7” (Saturday Records)
Could be considered a reissue…though it was never issued in the 1st place, methinks? Zonked out VU trash that’ll get the Debris & Simply Saucer fans panties in a bunch. Can’t wait for the unearthed full-length.

9. OBN III's "Mark on You" 7" (Tic Tac Totally)
A good-to-better-than-most batting average for the band who’s name still sounds like a tampon to me…the OBN’ers step up their game with this single. The nastiest of the bunch. And the LP ain’t no slouch.

10. Circle Pit "Sewercide" 7" (Sweet Rot)
This may actually have came out in 2010, but it didn't show up in my mailbox til' sometime in the early spring. Shitcan Trux glam worship with hints of Pussy Galore in their backbone. This is the most noisy & aggressive thing they've done. I'm real late in the game on these kids...sue me.

The Contenders: Women In Prison 7" (Hozac); Hank Wood & The Hammerheads 7” (Toxic State); Puffy Areolas "Gentlemen's Grip" 7” (Hozac); Timmy's Organism/John Wesley Coleman split 7" (Goner)

The Tapes:

1. Meat Mist “Bleak Bisque” (self-released)
Last minute champion. So fucking ugly. Beauteous.

2. Atom Mouth Gimlies “Ram the Bulb” (TNT Tapes)
Thug-punk Aussie grumbler. Gimme more.

3. Palace Of Worms "Lifting the Veil” (Flesner Records)
Bedroom Metal from an Oaktown/Seattle transplant that does more for me than Bone Awl or Midnight. More trve, less punker-hesh. A sickly, gloomy experimental deth. The CD from a couple years ago reminded me of Blut Aus Nord. So there.

4. The Evolutions “Demos Vol. 1&2” (Brad X Tapes on Demand)
King of shit-fi, still shit-fi kings. Mistakenly recorded over tape two with a band practice…Hey, Officer Brad…?!

5. Avon Ladies “Demo 20112” (Circle Of Shit Records)
Because Landlords & Grids are sooo last year…

The DVDs:

This is harder than usual. I’ve tried to keep up but there’s too much rolling out the factory doors to even notice it all. Labels like Warner Brothers have gone and started pressing up “On Demand” no-frills DVD-R’s of their lesser (but usually greater) back catalog. Now I can get weird-o sci-fi shits like Green Slime or Wild Wild Planet…cultish things like The Todd Killings or Bad Ronald…even classier fare such as Night Must Fall and No Blades Of Grass. I just noticed Night School, Night Digger and Freebie & The Bean on their list this morning. Looks like MGM and Sony/Columbia are stepping up to the plate as well (The Bed Sitting Room – OH YEAH!). I think I need my tax return...BUT these are a few things I have bought…and get steady screen time:

1. Santa Claus (Conquers the Devil) (VCI Entertainment)
Looks much better than the fifth generation tape I’ve had for years.

2. Machete Maidens Unleashed (Dark Sky)
A great, albeit depressingly grim at times, look at exploitation in the Philippines. By the guy who gave us Not Quite Hollywood. Next up: A Cannon Films documentary!

3. Cul De Sac (Criterion Collection)
Ignored stateside for years. Why? Strange, humor-noir from Polanski. Don Pleasance in drag!

4. Video Nasties: The Definitive Guide (Nucleus Films)
The documentary is a bit dry and full o’ talking heads (and Kim Newman…YOW), but still very informative to those not in the know. It should at least force you to seek out the See No Evil book (by Kerekes & Slater) that goes much deeper into the dark UK video abyss. BUT: You get two more discs of trailers PLUS film reviewers, historians and all out freaks discussing each snippet at length. Sometimes up to ten minutes a piece. Blown away.

5. Nightmare (In A Damaged Brain) (Code Red)
If Pieces is yr kinda’ gut-buster, you’ll need this too. The glory of the gory daze. Sick as dirt.

Others that mattered:
Dorm That Dripped Blood & Vampire Circus (Synapse Films)
Both might’ve made it to the top of the heap had they not forced ‘em out of the pipe in the dreaded Blu-Ray/DVD combo. I’m too cheap for that gimmick.

BUT…I found this one used:
The Exterminator (Synapse Films)
Robert Ginty pulls a Bronson. And he’s a better man for it. So golden.

Don’t Open Till Christmas (Mondo Macabro)
Two X-mas movies on the list?! Hey, they're fresh on my mind and I yearned to hold them for months. Long lost slush puddle of holiday trash, served up by Mondo Macabro. The Dick Randall Collection!

Night of the Demon & Cut Throats Nine (Code Red)
People got beef with Code Red. At least there are copies of these films choking up the local WalMart bins. Now they can live on and ruin some other fat kids’ life…

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