Columns - "Digital Block" 06.01.02

Theres no end

to this





Im at a redlight in a rental vehicle. Im the pilot. Im driving. My dad, my father, Amon Sizemore(but you can call him dad too) age 61, retiree of General Motors is in the passenger seat. He gestures to his right with his thumb at a store located on the corner of the intersection we are waiting to depart. He calmly tells me "They should be paying me money"

"Who should be paying you money dad?" I say as I lean to look past him to look at who he was talking about thinking there was some guy at a bus stop or something he lent $20 too back in 1989, but he was pointing at a store on the corner for sure.

The store he pointed at is one of those Urban hip Hop clothing stores. They have become all the rage here in Cininnati in the last couple of years. This shop in particular was a newer one with all the latest fashions in the windows right next to a neon sign that said ‘HIP HOP CLOTHING’ in red-orange.

"Why should they pay you money?" I asked my dad. He stared blankly ahead. The redlight was a long one.

In a dead serious tone, still looking blankly ahead he said "Well, I came up with calling clothes like that ‘hip hop’ long before everyone else."

This might be a point to argue with someone. I mean, FUCK! I heard alot of different THEORIES about where, who and how, the term hip hop came to be. Brooklyn. Los Angeles. The Bronx. Lots of different possibilities. Lots of different RATIONALES. But here was my dad, letting me in on something that had obviously been bothering him for quite sometime. My dad had had the term hip hop stolen right out from under him, sometime in the early 80s or so, just as I was a young lion cub as of yet to young to come stand at my fathers side in protest. You can say what you will about the whole hip hop thing but me, I look at my dad whose gaze had turned to mine and said "Yeah, those fuckers should be paying you".

The light turned green. I proceeded.

I just finsihed Neus Subjex #42 the same day. Anxious to hand out somehting fresh, I kept a handful on me all night long distributing issues by hand as needed as requested. This was a special night, Crimson Sweet were making two appearences in Cincinnati and even if I hadent set both of them up, I would have been there en force. Having a new issue of The Neus Subjex to hand out made the night that much more exciting.

Theres a real spark to peoples eyes when they see me with a stck handing them out. Now, after six toiling years, my self-proclaimed one sheet "un-zine" has finally started catching on. Its not uncommon for a hungry crowd anxious for a new issues of The Neus Subjex to gather around me like Im handing out free locks of hair from JackWhite or something. In this case Im about to explain to you, I am outside Shirleys, and "alternative lifestyle bar" (if you catch my drift) that has become a punk-rock hangout for many Cincinnati locals.

Some blokes from a community located just on the border of Indianna and Ohio, on Interstate 74 had came down to the show (two of the guys are in a band called Rudy Pat, a band I cover in The Neus Subjex) asked if I had a new issue and since I did, I gave them and the surrounding associated crowd, copies.

"You should hire me as your editor" said a female. No more than 20 years of age I suppose. "I have found three gramatical errors in the first sentence" she went on to say.

"Oh yeah?" I said as I leaned over and snatched the Neus Subjex from her hands "Well, maybe I shouldnt have given you a copy since it dont meet your standards" I said. The guys from Rudy Pat quickly came to The Neus Subjexs defense.

"Hey, its art!!!!" one said with another backing him up. These two have obviously been playing close attention to what I have been saying when I proclaimed OVER AND OVER AND OVER

100% A R T!

The girl, who I thinks name was Laura, went on to tell me how bad grammar makes me look stupid and makes The Neus Subjex look bad and un-intelligent. I told her she should maybe walk up to CVS Drugstore and buy a Newsweek or something. Thats what Bukowski told people who said similar things to him so I felt it right and justified to unleash some of the masters wisdom upon her. The Neus Subjex that I took from her hands was still NOT back in her hands. I still had it. Ironically enugh she was asking for it back and I told her now she was going to have to pay.

Did I mention that The Neus Subjex enjoys free distribution for each of the past six years I have been publishing it? Yeah, it has.... None-the-less, she was going to pay.

I asked her how I got by six years without her as my editor.

I asked her how many years she had been doing her zine.

I asked her how many issues she has published in the past year.

I asked he how many words she has written in the past year.

I asked her what her zines name was because evidently she is a real pro if she is going to put The Neus Subjex down.

I tell her spell checks for pussies. I dont have time for it. I tell her I write well over 4,000 words a month. Each Neus Subjex has anywhere from 4,000-7,000 words. I not only EDIT and publish The Neus Subejx but Im also a contributing writer to Blank, have contibuted to many other international publications and still find time to hold down positions in two local bands, practice with those bands one a week each, play any show that each band books, as well as hold down a 40 hour job. I think iI am entitled to do as I wish. thnak you.

Then I ask for a copy of her zine.

She doesent have one she tells me. Then she leans over and snatches a Neus Subjex from my hand, much like I did to her earlier when I took it away. Something she obvously has a problem with ended up being something she really wanted to have. Enough to STEAL because remember, I wanted her to pay for a copy. In other words, I proved my point that she was stupid and most importantly, WRONG.

Moments later, When I was trying to spend as much time with Crimson Sweet as possible, I told Rooster Booster about the episode that had jsut occured.... Rooster Booster IS an editor for some pretty high classes publications. She really does do editing as a career. I tell her maybe I should hire her to be the Editor of the Neus Subjex.

"Dude" Booster sez, still sweaty from her performance 30 minutes earlier. "You dont need any help! Your shit is amazing".




All spanning over one night. Amazing. Laura, or whatever the kids are calling you thesedays, you owe me thirty cents!!!!


You just finished the fourth installment of Digital Block by Shawn Abnoxious. All freshly written, never before released material.

"...and Im not going to vote for Ralph Nader"

from Life is Shitty, Live on MTV as performed by Sexual Tension

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