- "Friday Night at the Death Club" 09.20.00
Friday Night at
the Death Club! #4
Hello you dirty fucking street rats! Its about time for me to do time at the Death Club. Lots been going on in La La Land (Otherwise known as the Midwest proper). Rock Action Radio has done its second show from the "Temporary" Dangerzone, otherwise known as my Mom and Dads house, and Volume Two is far superior to the first. It even features Radar Secret Service AND Kill the Hippies LIVE! Tune In! Rock Action zine #6 is doing pretty well- its the best issue yet, and were getting ready for #7(To be released by Nov. 1st). We still need distro help for the zine, and some advertisements, so get in touch.
My dogs name is Bullets. She has one brown eye and one blue eye. She is part black lab, and part she- wolf. Just a baby; shes only 9 months old. Running is her favorite thing to do, and she is very smart in coming up with ways to get loose so she can go out all night on the prowl. She always comes back, though. On August 8th, she escaped, and when my girlfriend Amanda went to yell for her, she heard a loud smack, and Bullets screaming. I ran outside right after the "dudes" in their white Blazer sped off. Bullets were lying on the side of the road in the gravel. She had a far off look in her eyes, and I thought she was a goner. We rushed her to puppy emergency, and I was crying.
Amazingly though, despite a stomach full of gravel (From her eating gravel, not the accident), internally, she was OK. She might live! I was psyched! Her back legs though, were not ok.
Her rear right leg was smashed right above the knee. There were 5 pieces floating around loose. Her rear left wasnt much better. Her hipbone was 4 inches from where it should have been. When I took her from emergency to the surgical vet in the morning, some of the worst 4 hours of my life followed.
This fucking vet basically explained to me that he didnt know if he could fix it. The option of putting her to sleep became very real again. Fuck that- we were going to find a place that could fix my puppys legs. The doctor in Akron made me feel tons better. They took Bullets, and we went home. She had surgery. She cant run now, or even walk without help, but I know shell kick ass, and be sprinting by Christmas. But its a bit more complicated than that.
The smashed bone in her leg is held together with a long pin through the bone, and wire. Outside of her right leg, she looks like Lee Majors. We have the technology. She is the 50 Million-Dollar Dog. A big rod runs down the outside of her body, and is connected through the skin and to the bone in 3 places. The leg was also made a bit shorter to get better connection between the 2 main pieces. On the other side, instead of putting the femur ball back into the socket, they cut the top of it off to make it shorter as well, and seated it into a new socket. This provides her with some stability to allow the right leg to heal. Just so it works, eh?
Fuck man, I didnt have the money to pay for all of this. But when I look into her eyes, I know she is fighting to get better, so she can get up and piss on my carpet on her own power someday. Ill scream at her, but then feel bad, and give her a hot dog because she loves them. Ill take her to someplace with no cars and let her run until she almost has a heart attack. This column is dedicated to Bullets- "Satans Little Helper". She will ride again.
Once Again, Ladies and Gentlemen- Fuck Rock and Roll! And Punk Rock, Too. Music in General, Actually.
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness- its all over. Too stale and pale, this game of rock and roll music. Too tired and uninspired, this rechargeable record, recyclable, fill in the ______, put the new faces here, Rolling Stones and Heartbreakers, ties and lame creepers, 1977, "rock and roll, dude", when I grow up, some know it all kid will come along and attempt to assume my punk rockin position, Im the torch barer of retired ideals, yes sir- just sickening. Give me something new.
The arrogance of people who feel that they have some sort of obligation to update tired music for the sake of others is laughable. These people think someone who is gone is cool and want to be that for younger people like the aforementioned pseudo- star- it's that simple, Id say. They were lame in school and want to be too cool for school, now. Like the one time they got beat up has earned them a spot in recreational history. By that I mean the modern, watered down versions of music history that are being recreated with new players everyday, all over the world. And who knows- maybe theres some kid going by the name of Johnny Danger walking around Mars in fake leather pants. Yep; its all about the music.
College and Rock and Roll fatalism. Modern, white kid rockers are very similar to modern white college students. Both are just there, both dont know why, both have nothing to say, and both clog up both of those toilets with garbage. All of which is done with the attitude that theyre doing somebody a fucking favor. If you go to college or are in a band, suck it. Give me music that burns.
Mod music really, really sucks. So does surf, garage, pop, pop- punk- have country and western cover band already. Give me music that tricks me.
Death to retro- shit, piss in the toilets junk. Ive had it. No music.
Deadly Questions/ Deadly Answers.
Over and over again, we hear the same shit being recycled. And specifically of course, well talk about punk rock. Its so depressing to me to pick up the latest issue of Punk Rock and Roller, or 77 Magazine, Anarchy Cough Medicine Rampage, Extremely Extreme, or whatever the newest "hot" zines are. Then you have the old stand- bys that are no better.
I was thinking to myself that a lot of the younger punks are really fucked up. I was thinking about how theyre really genre- conscious; really. The different style concerns have just splintered punk rock to shreds. Even in larger areas, its not uncommon to have 5 people turn up for a show. Then across town of course, at the emo, or crustcore, or garage, or whatever the flavor of the month show is, theres tons of trend rockers. Dont worry- if you come back next month therell be plenty of room up front. Its pretty stupid, these little shits.
But you know what? Older punks might be even worse with the classification shit, unless theyre those real old "Seen it, done it" guys that think theyve used punk to ascend into the consciousness exploding area, that is listening to Tom Waits and having a cyber- relationship with some 16 year old Op. Ivy fan from suburban Jacksonville. Yep, then therere the fellas that still come around every once in a while, talking shit that exposes them as narrow fucks who got tattoos to be cool and have never bought a record or tape or cd or anything else from a store that wasnt in the mall. Killer Exploited back- patch dude! Oh, sorry- I know you like Social D. now. Whiskey is really fucking cool, and you know what else is cool? 8- balls! And flames! And the horned hands!
The horned hands? Oh my goodness. As stupid as a punk giving the middle finger or the old 2 finger up the Casbah. But I do have a great respect for mid- 90s Norwegian Black Metal, Judas Priest, Angelwitch, Motorhead, Venom, and of course the first two Motley Crue records, and the first Metallica, but metal really was never that cool. Just a fact. Metallica? They used to be kind of cool. What a bunch of fucking pussies now though, what with their having such heart attacks over this mp3 business and wearing make- up in videos, one of the main things that the band set out to destroy in the early 80s. What kind of car do you think Lars Ulrich drives? I bet its nice. Whats his fucking problem? "Well, if we can stop this mp3 business, we get all the money, then for every car I buy I can buy one for James too and maybe hell stop buttfucking me." Buttfuckers, back to punk rock.
So yeah- these kinds of tudes fuck up shows. Just a hint for the next time one of you sets up a show thats a bust. Why dont you open your little birdie minds, and make friends with some good bands that maybe dont sound exactly like your band, and then you get all of their crowd at the show. What a genius plan! A little diversity? What an original concept- glad I thought of it!
That touches on a far more important issue, for me anyway, and thats the music itself. Ive learned that a scene built around a band that plays really killer music is better than a paint by numbers scene built around 10 bands that all sound the same- and not very good to boot. For example, in Kent, Ohio, there will always be a decent scene in that little town due to a band called Kill the Hippies, that not only is really killer, but have always been very supportive of punk rock and hardcore music. Theres also the Harriet the Spy house types who support emo, indy rock stuff, and hardcore type music. These two scenes work together, and in the end this creates a relatively good scene in what wouldnt necessarily be the greatest town for punk rock. But always, well thought out music will perk up the ears, maybe not of Bill Mohawk and his girlfriend, but of those folks that kind of orbit the scene waiting to hear something that they can really sink their teeth into, or some of the older people that would love to help out and support a younger band thats interesting and has some talent. Another fact. Where Ive been living in Youngstown, Ohio is exactly the opposite. A much bigger area, with no sense or creation- just decay and destruction. God forbid one of the groove metal bands risks their image or local brat punk outfits gamble their hardcore integrity by playing with each other. They might get a record breaking 25 people at the show. What a hassle!
And this works the same for music itself. Diversity within a bands sound can never be wrong. Im not talking about taking ska and mixing it with funk. Im talking about just being a regular old amazing, creative, energetic punk rock band with depth. That couldnt be that hard, could it? Punk rock was not meant to turn into what it has become. It was not a concrete ideology, but rather one of out with the old, and in with the new- all done with drums and guitars. In the end though, punk rock always angrily accepted the likes of Berry and Elvis as reference points, and so should the bands in modern times. Its fine to have influences. Everyone at one point or another is "influenced". Im under the influence right now, in fact. But the important thing is to take these influences and update them, take them and make them your own, and create sounds that have never been heard before. A great thing about punk rock is that anyone can get involved, and become part of something, but the other great thing is that this can be destroyed and rebuilt at anytime. Change is necessary for any species survival, and punk rockers are no different. By living in the past, youre assuring a cliché No Future for you. Wear plastic.
Well see whats going to happen with the Death Club. Summer is over, and Ive taken quite a break from punk rock. Sometimes I immerse myself in it, and let it dominate my thoughts to the point that I just get really fed up with it. Often times it just moves too slowly, and stagnates to the point that I cant handle it anymore. It also seems like Im always a year ahead of, or a year behind the trends. Thats not a totally bad thing. I want to bring new outlooks to the table. Ive said before that I hate punk like you would hate an ex- girlfriend. You wish it couldve worked out, you still love them, but This is my point. I dont have to accept anything, and in turn, Ill continue to keep you all updated on the trials and tribulations that is my quest for a perfect youth culture. Everyday I get older age- wise and closer to death of course, and so do all of you, but it doesnt mean that we have to sit still. Im here to smash what I dont like, and build something better in its place. Im here for Friday night fights, and exits from the boring streets of our lives into the Dangerzone. When I die Ill know that I gave them fucking hell.
Frankly, I Dont Give a Damn- I Have No Friends.
I caught some attitude recently from a Mr. Chaz Halo of the Dimestore Haloes, and Pat from Pelado records about statements Ive made within this web site about the "Rock N Roll Outbreak" zine. Ive been corresponding with Pat for a while and never thought he would be the kind of guy to whine if someone had some criticisms about his zine or label. Much of the zine is very poor, grammatically; certain sections of it Im saying. Most all of it takes the lame subject of rock and roll far too seriously, much of it is long- winded, and it all just adds up to being totally boring, to me- totally! Thats just my "opinion". Go pick up a copy and decide for yourselves. Its nothing personal, but it always can be, so tread lightly. There you go. So, I just want to say publicly that I sure you guys are swell. Ive talked to Pat since then, and everything is kosher, but I still wanted to bring it up. Use criticism to help you (All of you Im talking at) to improve on your various projects. And though some people jumped down my throat at first, in the end, the RNR Outbreak boys understood this. Do you? Now, back to my hatred of music.
I hate it.
Like only a jealous ex-boyfriend could. But Im getting over it. Im "growing". In fact, I just made a list of records to order. So theres your ending. Im gonna order some records, most of which Ill hate, and Ill be back next month to explain it to you all, my loyal legions. Darkness!
Such Sweet Sorrow.
Its been a wild summer, and I feel like I havent been in close enough contact with you people. Send me some responses of any sort, positive or negative. Im going to start printing the letters in this column and giving direct response. This way, I can be assured that people arent misinterpreting my half- cocked ideas. Im also going to really get going on my blank gen. Columns, and updating a lot more frequently. They might not be as long, but Id like to make it a more direct relationship with those of you who are bothering to read it (this- what youre reading now). Next column, big #5: Letters, less anger, more humor, stupidity, and danger! Start those letters coming! Love me- your friend in the Devil. Over and out.
Ok- a lots about to go down with Rock Action zine. Last call for the back issues. Issues #1- #5 can be acquired for $2ppd. Now as far as issue #6 goes, which features the Piranhas, Clone Defects, Commies, and Smogtown- I have to say that we are halfway through the second printing of them, and would really like anyone who doesnt have a copy to order one for $2ppd. Its a great issue, but were trying to be done with it so we can really get going on issue #7.
#7 will feature stuff by the same stable of columnists- Shaun "Rock and Roll Shark" Obnoxious, Amanda Miller, Robert Ledyard (Who brought you #6s classic tale of fucking Muppets), and Im attempting to put something together. VERY IMPORTANT: Someone from Europe sent me two interviews- one Mekons interview, and and Angelic Upstarts/ Red Alert number. They are great will be printed, but I have no idea who sent. There was a bit of a shake up with who was checking the mail for the zine, the interviews were saved, but they did not include the name of the interviewer. Theyre really well done, and Id like the person to receive credit for them when they are printed. Anyway, thats also coming, along with a feature on Kill the Hippies- an interview, plus some extra shit. The wild world of skateboarding will once again rear its head in "seven", as well as a new feature on the importance of all punk rockers running out and buying motorcycles.
Record reviews- send em in, Ill print them. Were also looking for interviews, and records, tapes, and CDs (See These Nuts!) to review.
Ads- still as low a $5! Get in touch.
Dont forget the Joker,
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