Columns - "I'm a Trend Pimp" 03.01.03

Here, on the twilight on, nearing the inevitable super nova, I sit. Contemplating life near a dwarf star. As fondness in music alters (as a human being one is always changing) I wonder why. No matter… 50 CENT is on the stereo and everything is gonna be alright, alright?
So, after hours and hours of silk-screening these LOST SOUNDS posters I’m half way finished…sigh… They are really turning out rather nicely…and those lucky enough to get one are really………lucky… see ( for details on how to score one.
Okay, I FINALLY got my VIVIAN GIRLS “S/T” CD! Hell yeah! Well, it’s still on back order through (, but I have the MP3s for company right now. If you are a rabid LOST SOUNDS and SUBTONIX fanboy or fangrrrl you’ll want this record. It came out quite a while ago, weeelll, not too long ago, on Radio One Records out of Austraila and some copies have made it over to our warmonger shores. Think JOY DIVISION heartache mixed with late LOST SOUNDS keyboard action and NO (or very little) guitars. Now normally I protest the “no guitars” decision, however, in the VIVIAN GIRLS case it works for them. Dark, twisted melodies on another plane of existence, take a visit, or stay… (
In the much hated (or loved) electroclash genre, SOVIET pump up the beats and synth-pop to ADD N TO (X) & GARY NUMAN levels. I think one Shawn Abnoxious would have an aneurysm when he hears these kids. Their music is very ambient and melodious with dreamy landscapes laid in circuitry and blinking diodes. Club kids mixed with indie fags on the NYC dancehall floor. Ecstasy flowing into you synapses like creamy milkshakes. “We are Eyes, We are Builders” is a welcome addition to the electroclash revolution. (
FISCHERSPOONER has released “#1”…the #1 electroclash/synth-pop record for the year! Well, so far… More ambient, thick beats mixed in with techno-flavored synth-pop from the 80’s Pac-Man vaults of Japan. Animated concussions of the spasm degree… Vibrant, shakin’ rhythm with love from London’s rainy lifestyle of DAFT PUNK, and some KRAFTWERK for quirks. (
So finally GLASS CANDY & THE SHATTERED THEATRE has FINALLY released a full-length LP titled “Love Love Love”…finally… Though the record doesn’t leave much to the imagination (just about all of the tunes on this 8-song record have been on previous records…demos I guess…so it’s legit)… The recordings is the real sell here… Even though you may have heard these songs already, this is a worthwhile purchase as this is as tight as GLASS CANDY has ever been. Death Disco has taken more of a shape. It’s also as punk as this band has been in a while (I don’t really care for the new songs they’ve wrote) and Ida’s screams are as bloodcurdling as ever. So take yr glam and trash to bank, cash out and head to the mall! (
The ROBOCOP KRAUS’ “Living With Other People” CD is making waving in my heart for indie/new wave. Now, I’m getting pretty sick of the “every band and their grandma plays the keyboard” trend. I mean, let’s face it, the EPOXIES pretty much suck… But when a band like the ROBOCOP KRAUS can use the instrument in a less conventional way, and more importantly a reserved way, my ears perk up. If yr into the RADIO 4, LIARS, Brooklyn indie scene, these Germans will move you to the grooves of a sultry bass/piano/guitar combo with super well timed beats that hit all the right echoes. Lalalalalalalaaaaaaaaa (
If yr looking for a super-cool, super-fab indie girl pop record, I recommend the AISLERS SET “How I Learned to Write Backwards” LP on Slumberland Records. The peppery female vocals that carry the band to heights unparalleled. The AISLERS SET are 60’s girl pop meets 90’s 120 Minutes alternative rock that shows more soul and compassion than any Jack White song (Have you heard that new WHITE STRIPES album…it’s pretty dreadful, save for a few decent tunes). Temperamental and capacious, like the ocean, always changing, this album has everything one needs for peaceful summer evening outside on the porch with a tall glass of pink lemonade. I encourage the listener to purchase this record on vinyl, as the melodies and bass rhythms are much more audible. (
Holy fuck! It’s the DANCE DISASTER MOVEMENT! I’ll say it again, HOLY FUCK! California…I’m tellin’ ya…only two more years and I am fuckin’ there! So the DANCE DISASTER MOVEMENT are this organ, guitar, drums two-man-mother fuckin’-band with soul and spitfire to move yr ass or leave you with grass stains on yr knees. You can’t keep up to these gentleman, mod boys are too cool, too suave, too graceful for the rest of us. So enjoy the “We Are From Nowhere” LP and listen to heartburn in motion. One of the best records release last month. (
Also released on Dimmak last month was the incredible PHANTOM PREGNANCIES “The Compilation That Could Have Been A Contender” LP. An LP ONLY release, I’m not 100% sure, but I think they had a track on a CD comp and it was completely blank, which shows their dedication to vinyl. The PHANTOM PREGNANCIES are a garage punk group (which is rumored to contain members of HUGGY BEAR, the identities of the members are a complete mystery to me), Also, it should be stated that this band was rumored to appear at shows and just plug in totally unannounced and uninvited. Now that’s fuckin’ punk! Sounding like a girl-version of the MUMMIES, this is the best, trashiest, super-fun garage punk and riot grrrl record you’ll buy all year, so get it, like, now! (
SLEETMUTE/NIGHTMUTE (or just SLEETMUTE) just released this killer art-damaged (I’m beginning to hate that word) punk 7”. Composing of MONITOR BATS (or DIE MONITR BATSS…these bands need to make up their minds on band names) members, this precarious, jazzy, fluid, clamorous, and fucked up shrieks bashes yr no wave into nothingness. The coolest 45 I’ve heard all year. (Fast Weapons Records 120 State Ave. NE #300 Olympia, WA 98501)
Lastly, one of my all-time favorite record labels, S-S Records, sent me this GEEKS “Dreamland” 7”. Records back in 1982, this no wave massacre resembles sounds like the CONTORTIONS and, well, the CONTROTIONS. If you are a JAMES CHANCE freak (and just bought that breathtaking 4XCD box-type-set on Tiger Style Records) you NEED this 45! It is art-punk with a violent warps of free jazz and muddled beats. ++ You also get a nice little biography of the GEEKS, cool and informative. There’re only 300 copies and they go quite quick, so get on it. BUY! BUY! BUY! CONSUME! CONSUME! CONSUME! $4ppd S-S Records 1114=21st St. Sacramento, CA 95814 USA,
!!!!!!!!!!!!!ENDNOTES are FOR PUSSIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
111…1..1.1) Spring is, like, totally here! FUCK YOU SNOW! FUCK YoU!
22.2.2.) And with spring comes shows! If yr in NYC, go to these –
The Cinema Eye, March 25, New York, NY @ Knitting Factory
The Walkmen, Friday 4/4- New York , NY
The Sick Lipstick, An Albatross, Fri, 4/11 @ 8PM $8 knitting factory
Erase Errata, Les Georges Leningrad, Tue, 4/22 @ 9PM $10, knitting factory
33333333333) don’t send me yr lame ass records! Saint Joseph - 322 Saracino Dr. Maybrook, NY 12543, USA. Seriously.
44.. NEXT MONTH! V/A “LET’S GET KILLED” LP! CRIMSON SWEET! THE SOCIALS! KILL THE HIPPIES! RADAR SECRET SERVICE! THE SWEATY WEAPONS, and more! +++_+ more indie art-fag garbage that you hate. Fuck that faggot garage shit, motherfuckers!
I’m NOBODY’S pimp!
PS – buy my records - - -

© 2003