Columns - "The Landing Party" 02.01.03

THE SHAWN ABNOXIOUS LANDING PARTY
FEBRUARY 2003
DONT FORGET-------THE LANDING PARTY E-MAIL LIST
Informing you of Blank Generation updates and other important Blank Generation info... Send an e-mail to ShawnAbnxoious@aol.com to sign up. Put ‘Subscribe’ in the subject.
 
Something new this time around.... Music Review Ratings:
1-Horrid. A Waste of time, effort and money
2-3 Not much to offer.
4-5 Few Redeeming Qualities; A couple good tracks
6-7 Interesting. Average in its overall delivery but by no means bad though....
8 Above average. Must have? Maybe....
9-Very interesting. Suggest you get a copy.
10- Go and get one. A MUST-HAVE!
Let me know how you like them.
_________________________________________
01.11.03 -
scene from 1982 WAS MADE FOR LOVERS
Kris from Kill the Hippies is sitting on a couch. On his right is a lady friend named Sarah and on his right is a guy with shoulder length black hair whos at in a chair infront of Sexual Tension for their whole set. The location is THE FLOOD in Kent, Ohio. I am standing in front of the couch drinking a Miller High Life.

ME: Hey Kris.... Do you remember that video for that David Bowie song where he is dancing with an Aboriginal girl on a hillside with Sydney Australia in the background and a Nuke goes off....

KRIS: --Shakes his head no--

GUY WITH BLACK HAIR: Yeah... I remember that video.

ME: Yeah! LETS DANCE!!!! That video is cool as fuck.

GUY WITH BLACK HAIR: I fucking cant stand that song. David Bowie sucks dick!

ME: --pointing to guy-- Thats your problem!

----www.1982wasmadeforlovers.com

~fin
_________________________________________

THE EXTRAS
" Ugly American" CD
--Last Vestige Records :::: www.LastVestige.com

Just before a band member went off to prison, Albany New York’s The Extras went into the studio to lay down the tracks for this CD in one afternoon. The songs sat in someones private collection for nearly 18 years before they were "rediscovered" and released onto this disc. I had never heard of The Extras befoe this arrived in my mailbox including some of the super collector killed by Death circles that I have an ear in but what does that really mean anyway? I bet there are countless bands outt here like The Extras with some amazing shit NEVER released.... I hope this CD is the beginning for a new re-punk movement of dragging the bottom for more obsure abnds and more obscure hits...

Ugly American starts off slow, nothing really groundbreaking on this disc but around the fifth song, things pick up and The Extras come off sounding like a mix between the West Coast Agent Orange and the East Coast Unnatural Axe. The Extras have some real winners with songs like "Thats Okay", "Down the Drain","Shes Got Bugs", "Dont Go into the Water" and the amazing "Face the Future" which captures the band in all its urgence.. You see, since these songs were all done over one weekend afternoon in 8 hours, with one of the members heading off to a prison term the following monday, there was a litlle somethin-somethin in the studio with the band that day; URGENCY!!!! That drove these better songs, espcially "Face the Future" to momentous quality.

Im not really sure if this CD is an absoute necessity even though that is one of the msot important questions one must ask anytime they consider writing about any music. When its all said and done, even tough things start off slower, Ugly American has some real hard-hitters on this disc and "Face the Future" is anamazing fucking song. Take this for what you will: Im glad this disc came my way. I learned something from it not only as a music listener and enthusiest, nut as a musician myself.

"I had a hard-on with a capital ‘H’ "
-From "Itallian with an ‘I’ " by The Extras

RATING: 8 Above average. Must have? Maybe....
_________________________________________
01.17.03
INTERPOL
ran into town. It was a real pleasure to see them too. They played a couple of songs that I didn’t notice from TURN ON THE BRIGHT LIGHTS and even intro’d one of them as a new one. In all the hoopla I sort of forgot the real reason I like this band, they remind me of MY DAD IS DEAD. There is allot of hype surrounding this band and the venue, THE SOUTHGATE HOUSE located in refurbished Newport Kentucky (just across the river from Downtown Cincinnati) was full tot he brim of people who will probably be calling this band lame in six months just like they did when the STROKES came into town. If the Strokes played The Southgate House now, half the people that were there when they first played wouldn’t be there. In six months, INTERPOL will be played out to most people who it didn’t really matter to anyway. Bring INTERPOL back in six months and I will be there again. Bring them back one year, two years, even five years. I wills till be there. Im not fabulous shallow trendy like most... I initially took my camera to snap some good pics but then decided not to when I realized that taking pics of bands like Interpol is cool and all, but what the real travesty is that I had a roll of film left from the previous weekend and the LETS GET KILELD FEST in Akron. Band photography isn’t about the band and how big they are. Its about capturing REALNESS and bands like RADAR SECRET SERVICE, SEXUAL TENSION, KILL THE HIPPIES, CD TRUTH, and THE JEFFS have a realness to them unparalleled. Interpol need no help. they have all kinds of people helping them out. I need to use what I got for the underdogs. THATS what will make what I do and how I do it worth it all... It was cool seeing Interpol though. I like the band ever since I first heard "PDA" on the radio. Along with Interpol was a band called CALLA which were quite the bore... Any band playing amplified instruments-- I dont care who they are-- shouldn’t play at a volume where people in the crowd could talk over them. it just doesn’t seem right. A local called MALLORY opened up the set. They sounded like a mix between GUIDED BY VOICES and RADIOHEAD. They had some thick noise parts and played a good set. MALLORY seem all about ‘gentle tweaking’ of an ambiotic mood. I would rather have some bits and pieces of loud, displaced random sonic suffering from time to time to remind people that they have eardrums and that they can bleed.... Mallory was a good band though. Im keeping my eye on them.

----www.southgatehouse.com
----www.interpol.com
_________________________________________

CITIZEN BIRD
" Citizen Bird" CD
--Stinky Records :::: www.stinkyrecords.com

I had been reeling from this one since last summer but I am just now finding time to give up some words on the subject. Coming from the same area and having some of the same sand as bands like The Strokes and Interpol, Citizen Bird ultimatly come off more atmospheric and somewhat professional than those two. BUT making a triunvrite of bands that I think everyone should be listening to right now. There is an atmospheric somberness to Citizen Bird that at first might bother you but after a while you will find that you are being set up with these elements for their hard-hitters.... Songs like "Magnetic City" and "Joy" (the big aternative radio track).... Songs like "Knucklebuster" and "Grasshopper" and especially my favorite track "Star." Seriously, I think if Joy Division were stil around today, This disc could have been what they were doing right now. Thick production, excellent song writing.... Dreamy and hypnotic at times on the slower songs back breaking heavy on the upbeat numbers. The thirteen tracks on this disc play too quick even though the release tops off just under 60 minutes. If you still like bands like The Strokes and Interpol, or if you have dropped them and moved on like some trend-rider, still, go back and give Citizen Bird a chance. You can like them for a bit until you relize that they are too good for you to listen to and theres a new trend for you to jump on... Me? I am waiting for the next Citizen Bird effort.

to Joe Domino and Miss Communication:

"So your going to be a teacher in grade school then I got some questions to answer for you..."
from "Knucklebuster" by Citizen Bird

RATING: 9 Very interesting. Suggest you get a copy.

_________________________________________
01.26.03-
I awoke and found it snowing. The weathermen and women are calling for 1-2 inches by the afternoon. They said something about leaving for your Super-Bowel parties a little bit early due to road conditions. Julie looks to me and ask "Is today the Super Bowl?" to which I responded "I dunno. Is it?"

----www.beatyourwifeday.com
----www.superbowel.org
_________________________________________
01.30.03 -
Scene from U SELL ENERGY!

[[Small handwritten sign above a fundraising box of Resse Cup’s Candy in a medium sized factory]]

 
2-Day
TODAY!

Special!!!!

Buy 2 get 1 Free!!!

from 2:30PM - 3:30PM only

~fin
_________________________________________

THE GEE STRINGS
" Arrest Me" CD
--Deadbeat Records PO Box 183 Los Angeles, Ca. 90078

I had been interested in this band since the first time I seen a description for them in an Incognito Records mailorder cataloge. I knew then, and really, still know very little about the band. What I do know is they are from Germany...Female vocals and they are compared to the Avengers on a semi-regular basis. It all makes sense though, The Gee Strings DO have a modern Avengers feel to them and I suppose they make no qualms about it because of the twelve tracks, they manage to belt out a rather healthy rendition of the Avengers tune, "Thin White Line". All you fans of old 77 style punk and newer re-punk soudns like The No Tallents or Splash Four take note!!! Solid Production. Good Song writing. I know this band has a slew of singles out on different labels and stuff. Im glad to see a domestic release of this, hope to see more by them.

RATING: 8 Above average. Must have? Maybe....

 
ESTROGENOCIDE
" Estrogenocide" CD
--M.H. Records 36 Central Park Road. Plainview, MY. 11803

Estrogenocide scored points right away with me with their no-bullshit approach with their press release but that was it. This CD is two guys, who I would put at around 15 and HUGE fans of Anal Cunt, singing stuff about punching sluts in the face and all kinds of porno type shit with heavy synth and a drum machine backing them up. It all comes off immature and meaningless through the whole CD. I know they get off on being the spectacle and all and that reminds me of something like Survivor or something. Estrogenocide try to shock but they come off as being yet one more predictable mess. Why they sent me two CD of this shit baffles even me. Grow up is the new wassup.

RATING: 1 Horrid. A Waste of time, effort and money
_________________________________________

"Say you wake up in the morning, run your fingers through your hair now... think about what your missin’ now babe. Act like you dont care now... Talk about it... Talk about it now... Talk about it.... Talk about it"

from Thee Shams "You Got It" released by Deary Me Records
www.theeshams.com
_________________________________________

02.01.03 -
Scene from Old Fashioned Peppermint Kisses

Woke up early in the morning. Turned on the TV to see the Spaceshuttle Columbia speading its glory all over Texas. Yeah, SPACE TRAVEL is a hard fucker.

I get dressed and I am out the door. I get a Quart of Steel Reserve to boost the rest of the Miller High Life still in my fridge from renting BOURNE IDENTITY the previous night, and I get a pack of Hot Dog Buns for Socials practice. By 12:10 the first batch of Hot Dogs are on the George Forman Grill and its official by now; The spceshuttle is lost.

I could have told them that way earlier than noonish but I let them play with it awhile.

The Juice comes over just as BATCH ONE is coming offo the grill. Batch One represents one half of a pack, five dogs. While "Coach", Juice and I devour batch One, BATCH TWO is grilled and talk about this weekends knive show on the Home Shopping Network.

BATCH TWO completes and is also devored. I begin working on the Steel Reserve and we practice. Were getting a set tight for a Socials show in February in Louisville, Ken-tuck-ee (the orginal hunters paradise).

We practice our set and 10 others we are planning on recording the weeknd of Good Friday. Were tentatively caling the CD for those songs OLL KERECT. Somehwere during practice we all start hitting left over High Life 12 pack. Its good. Good Indeed. When practice is over The Juice begins some drum repairs and tells me to prepare more hot dogs.

The buns were gone somewhere during BATCH TWO. We began ‘white-bredding’ it meaning using pieces of regular bread for make-shift buns. while waiting for BATCH THREE to finish, I turn on more shuttle coverage, put the TV on mute and put on "Generic" by FLIPPER. Side two "The Way of the World". I dont know what it is but Flipper plays well with disaters on mute.

Im feeling the High Life and singing along to Flipper while they show the shuttle burning up over and over and over. Thirty-nine miles high in the atmosphere. Mach six! I am drinking High Life, I suppsoe in honor really of their High Death. In the end, they, the astro-nauts, knew the risk involved. Besides, we could call a ‘re-do’ and always clone and replace them for their loved ones whenever we want.

The Juice and Coach come in from the practice room for Batch Three. Juice has me start up BATCH FOUR which would be all remaining hot dogs. Back up needs backup. Miller High Life, hot Dogs, white bread, Flipper, TV Shuttle disaster on mute.

Thats the way of the World.
_________________________________________

 
SOUNDTRACK TO SHUTTLE DISASTERS PART 1: The Review!

THE SWARM OF ANGELS
" PLESSURE" 7"
--$5 ppd from Girlgang Records and Tapes :::: 3009 Preston Houston, TX. 77003 :::: nikkitexas@yahoo.com :::: www.swarmofangels.com

Speaking of shuttle disasters.... The Swarm of Angels are the sonic capturing of a shuttle disaster and eighteen times the speed of sound crashing to the ground. Something going wrong when you think you got it all in the bag. I dont know much about The Swarm, not much at all but I am learning.

I am willing to learn. and you will too if you want to go the route of somic magic. This record magically appeared one day. One day it WASNT there, the next it was and it changed my fucking miserable life.

The Swarm of Angels leave nothing untrurned in their sonic assault. Coming off like a modern day amalgamation of Pere Ubu, The Plasmatics and James Chance and the Contortions; the Swarm of Angels press release read like a fucking private eye report on me and the music I like.

That day a few years ago when I sat down and wrote The Neoteric Punk/Wave manifesto, what I was trying to get at was bands like this. What The Swarm do is strange and wierd. Listening to the Swarm of Angels makes me want to jsut fucking explode. The drama, the angst, the energy. Its all in this fucker!

I rank this band up there with the best of them. Kill the Hippies, Crimson Sweet, Radar Secret Service, The Cock Spaniels, Chalk.... Its abnds like SWARM that I want to keep to myself and bring them out when I need them. im selfish over bands and as wrong as it may seem, I want the SWARM to jsut play for me. I want credit for discovering them even though I hadent, I want recognition for this band when all I done was JUST listen to them. Fuck up as it sounds, you just got the whole truth.

If you are a fan of art-punk or my new neoteric Punk/Wave then I suggest you do what you can to get this! Im a fan for life, Looking to The Swarm of Angels like a military unit....Im joining up.

10- Go and get one. A MUST-HAVE!

 
SOUNDTRACK TO SHUTTLE DISASTERS PART 2: from Texas with Love!

 
Here is the response to the first e-mail I sent The Swarm of Angels praising their 7". Nikki Texas responded.

++++++++++++

Hi Shawn
thanks for the nice words. after seeing our set in san diego last month the bartender told us we were in his top 5 all-time worst bands-- in houston too, we've made the listings of WORST bands. of course, there are dissenting opinions.
If you want some records to distribute I'll send you a pack of ten and you can send me half of however many you sell. We sell them for 5 bucks a pop, because the covers so far are all hand-screened. You can sell them for whatever, I've got hundreds. We've only been doing this together since the beginning of this year, so we don't have as many stories to tell as some others, but each of us has been steeped in the good stuff before. by the time you put together your longer article, we'll have new stuff.

so far the numbers are:
1 release, the plessure ep, but we've been going in and out of the studio working on some new wilder stuff that will be ready when its ready.
1 riot at a show.
2 times had the power pulled on us while on tour.
2 west coast tours.
2 breakdowns on the highway.
I went to kent state for college-- so i've played on a million bills with kill the hippies & the go-go bots and the trillion brilliant bands that came from there.

ciao
tx (Nicki Texas)
++++++++++++

Me and Julie were out riding around one day listening to the Swarm of Angels that I bumpped down to CD-R so I could listen to it in my car/. we rolled by The Post Office where I have a box so i stopped to check it.

I left the car running and Swarm of Angles playing.

I check the PO Box and BEHOLD! The first batch of 7"s arrived... Just as Julie and I were lsitening to them int he car! Now thats sonic Voodoo!

So, I got some 7"s and began selling them to firends and whatever. i would get e-mails back saying "Dig the Swarm of Angles" but I knew that already. I got excellent feedback from each sell even though the price was a bit high. I sent payment for the whole batch to The Swarm thoguh.... I e-mailed them a couple weeks after the response above and asked what else was going on. I want to have a line of communication open with these fuckers for a while.... Heres what Nicki Texas said

++++++++++++

Hey Shawn
We had a winter extravaganza a few weeks ago... swarm of angels + 2 honorary angels, each bedecked in all white furs and leathers, playing before projected images of polar bear hunts and victoria secret models, playing in a homemade winter wonderland diorama, to scale no less, and all kinds of sick creatures came to see the spectacle.
laying low since then, some newspapers got the futile notion to write us up... we've links to that on our website.
erika + i recorded a new 7" from 4 track... its different from the swarm but dirty in its own way. i'll send you copies of that when the covers are printed.

What's happening in the icy north?

tx
www.swarmofangels.com

++++++++++++

Nicki sent some of those 7"s and wow, just as good but thats on the next landing....

"Clouds are amassing..... all you FLAGWAVERS!"
-Swarm of Angels

_________________________________________
02.05.03 -
Scene from Oozed: Cuts in Ragged Pieces

Location: Work lunchroom Kitchen area. Time: Lunch (noonish)

The players: Shawn Abnxoious (Machine Operator), "Worker 1" (Office Worker), "Worker 2" (Machine Operator), "Worker 3" (Machine Operator), "Worker 4" (Machine Operator)

Worker 1: (entering the room) Hi everybody! Hows everyone doing today?

Worker 2: Pretty good.

Shawn Abnoxious: Could be better.

Worker 3: Good, how are you?

Worker 1: (to worker 3) Good! (to Shawn Abnoxious) Could be better?

Shawn Abnoxious: Yeah....

Worker 1: How could it be better?

Shawn Abnoxious: I could be six feet under right now.

Worker 1: Dead? You want to be dead?

Shawn Abnoxious: I want to be released from this mortal coil. If I was dead I wouldnt have to come to work ever again.

Worker 1: That would be awful!!!!

Shawn Abnoxious: Not really because then I would get some piece and quiet.

Workers 2,3,4 : Laughs.

---I am beginning to think some of my co-workers find me odd.

reference: www.madeinchina.org
_________________________________________

Hey, Greg Lowery.... Look! A Zine review.

THE PORNOGRAPHIC FLABBERGASTED EMUS #3
$3PPD from Wred Fright PO Box 770332 Lakewood, OH. 44107 :::: wredfright@yahoo.com

I really enjoyed reading this. The Pornographic Flabbergasted Emus are a fictional band and this zine is the third collection of storys involving them covering the sixth, seventh and eighth chapters. I really connected witht his zine because one time I was just sitting around ‘jamming’ and I wrote a MRR type scene report for all these bands that didnt exist, that I just made them all up and even included wierd facts and storys about the bands. I left nothing behind. Well, This zine is sort of like that except WAY better. Im sure Wred Fright draws on his years of being in bands and being around bands for much of the content and characters. Lotsa wacko stuff and out-there-ness but at the same time, totally beliveable in may respects of the word! Still thoguh, this is an act of fiction but I am pretty sure it takes place in and around Cleveland, Kent and wherever else Wred has made his home. This is a celebrated piece of FICTION, I have stated that several times but I have been up to kent and know enough people up there to know when I am reading about someone or someplace that I know. In fact, along side figments of the imagination are real-to-life somebodys here and there... Morte Treehorn is there playing a cop called Officer Trahan and in the story references are made to bands like The Party of Helicopters and Sockeye. In the end I find myself wanting more and realizing that in some instances, proly most, names have been changed to protect the guilty. I bet Wred pisses allot of people off with each new issue. I hope I am lucky enough to see someone confront him oneday about how they are like one of his characters in his story. I bet that would be a sight. At the end of the issue Wred offers up "yips" or lil’ tiny tidbits of Emus in the news, or short reviews. Well worth the price, this zine was one of the best I have read. I mean, I interrupted reading GANGS OF NEW YORK to give this a spin...
_________________________________________
02.09.03 -
Scene from Urbane Lions Union

Krogers has this loyalty card thing that you sign up for. Its designed to save you money and that it does, because without one you will pay regular price for anything thats officially on "sale".

I.E. A box of Kroger Brand Deluxe Maccaroni and Cheese is regularly $1.59. But if you have the Kroger save Plus card your cost is just $1.29, YOU SAVE $.30!!!!

I suppose they track what you buy and when you buy it so the boys int he home office know NOT when to put something on sale.... They make money from you spending as mush as possible. If they see you always going to the store on Sunday Afternoons, an enough people do the same and buy the same stuff, look for any sales to conveniently be over.... They try to sweeten the deal and talk about how you will be sent before the public sales brochures and all but come on, dont forget almost every shopper has a similar card so they are getting head-ups on those good deals too.

Still though, I keep loosing these cards and reapplying for new ones. I have never given my real name or address or whatever. Yeah, I miss all the special deals but its allot of fun getting new cards....new names and new lives.

The card I am currently using, and this has been for a while because I am getting better at keeping the fuckers, is issued to a certain OLZAY Z. NEWYORK. I remebered when I signed up for the card the cashier looked at the name I filled in and comented to herself about it being an interesting name.

Anyway, upon completing a sale, Kroger cashiers are to circle an amount at the bottom of your receipt with a pen and tell you how much money you saved by using the Kroger Plus Card.

James, my cashier for this day... Well, I mean OLZAY Z. NEWYORKS cashier for the day, told me at the end of the sale that the Kroger Plus Card saved me $13.57

James seems to be a early twentys sheltered kind of guy. Dull to the core, a total bore. One time he told me and Julie about how his girlfriend was overweight but god bless her heart, she is a beautiful girl all the same. When he told me that I went to pat him on the back and he flinched like I was throwing a punch at him. James got issues?

Anyway, I told James thanks and commented that maybe, just maybe, that was enough for a small bag of dope later in the week.

Julie laughed and told james I was just joking.

"Hey.. I have an open mind!" James replied. I pointed the index finger of my right hand at James, winked and said "Fuckkin’ A Man" as I exited.

www.ethnicgourmetfrozenentrtees.cc/untrasuzshanchicken
_________________________________________

DRONES news

---I reviewed THE DRONES CD jsut before the Blank Generation Re-vamping. They sent me sone news so I thought I would share it with you. Regurgitating news like this, this way, is something that I think Blank Generation should do too....

"So hectic has been the month here at Spooky Manor we haven't even had time to update the news page so as I've been given a bit of a prod by Diamond Dave I thought I better pull out the stops and hit some keys to update you all on what's been happening.... The Drones tour has almost been finalised and as we are playing SXSW, New York, The Netherlands and London it's really feeling like we're heading off on a world tour. Go to The Drones Gigs page for all the dates and make sure you check back in the next week or two if you're OS and hoping to catch the band cause we're still working on more shows. Drones have also recorded the single for Bruce Milne’s label Infidelity. Two cracking songs "Same Way Too" and a cover of Spencer's song "Stepping on the Brakes" from his "Rumour of Death" album. The Single should be out around May.

Spencer has been flat out as well working his new band "The Escape Committee" into exceptional form every time they play and writing some fantastic new tunes for their up coming album. They've also been invited to release a single with London based website www.dothepop.com who specialise in Australian music. Two songs "Muse" and "Up for it" will appear on the 7 inch version and the CD single will have some bonus tracks as well. Last night the Escape Committee appeared on Jamie Isaachsen's "The Jam Room" which will be shown as a series on Channel V later in the year.

So Don't forget the Big one coming up at the Tote on Friday 21st Feb all you Melbournites as this will help The Drones get OS. And we'll take this opportunity to thank  all the bands who are donating their time for the cause and all the crew who will be helping with Merch and of course Julian Wu who will be cooking up a Texan Storm with the world famous WuBQ.
"

 
_________________________________________

02.15.03 -
Scene from Lifetime presents: Closer to Death a TRUE STORY!

Coming at you in 4-D is a true story of a Socials adventure. I play bass in The Socials, my beloved Julie plays guitar and sings. The Juice by jerry plays drums. heres a story about last week. i wrote this piece on 02.16.03

 
Closer to Death... Now a True Story!!!!
By Shawn Abnoxious

"Drinking whiskey and talking to god. Death followed me but I never got caught! Closer to Death and He’s gaining fast... Hey baby, The Socials gonna crash!"
-Last verse from "Closer to Death" by The Socials from Narrow Minded Entertainment for a Close Minded America

Louisville, Kentucky. It had been planned since about December, just before the new year....The Socials with The Slobs in Louisville February 15th at Za’s Pizza on Bardstown Road. Everything went allright until the weekend of the show. On friday the 14th, it began snowing and sleeting and freezing rain set in. By the morning of the 15th we figured everything was oK and told Louisville to get ready for us.

We were pumped and had planned on road testing a couple brand new tunes but it wasnt in the vision I suppose.

When The Socials play out of town we usually take some people with us. We always save a spot for our manager, Reggie, but he is so fucking busy that he ends up going to the shows on his own power cause of last minute plans to find baby sitters and an adequate supply of vodka..... Yeah, Reggie is ‘FULL-BLAST’ and a lil’ bit to dangerous for most but you, nor I, nor anyone has the right to judge Reggie, we can only accept him the way he is.

Andy Assault Rifle is The Socials first choice for companionship at an outing of The Socials but he opted to stay home due to Gazelles practice. Theres room for two, uncomfortably, but we had also asked Social ally ‘Gran-Daddy’ to ride down with us. he even took the night off from work to make the trip and was just as, if not more, excited than us aboutt he night.

Gran-Daddy ended up hooking up with 1 Adam 12 and Sabrina to car-pool it down to Zas Pizza on their own power.

So, in a wintery mix you not only had us, The Socials and The Slobs but also expeditions headed by Gran-Daddy and Reggie to Louisville. Anywhere from 4-6 vehicles, all on seperate journeys, with a single destination and anywhere from 3-6 inches of ice on the road.

Well, by time The Juice by Jerry arrived at The Social manor, his nerves were already wrecked. He said the roads were not that bad really but everyone else was driving crazy. Me and Julie believed him too. Juice is an excallent driver. One time The Socials had to play in Kent,Ohio and around Washington C.H. we had encountered similar weather than we were seeing this evening but still made it all the way to Kent safely. it was white knuckle driving the whole way but we did it. We sort of used that night as a standard. We figured if we could have done that on that night then on this night, which it didnt even appear to be close in comparison, we coudl fucking do it. Louisville; no fucking problem!

Juice was right, fucking maniacs on the road freaking out left and right. I had watched the news during the day and apparently all the worst weather was from Cincinnati on north. I thought by time we had gotten into Northern Kentucky the roads would improve drastically.

I was wrong. Northbound on I-71/I-75 at the ‘cut in the hill’ was standing still and backed up all the way to Southgate Mall. As we proceeded south on the interstate the roads were getting worse and worse, not better as I had hoped.

We were somewhere past Southgate mall and before the Mt. Zion Road exit. Milemarker 180/3 I believe but dont hold me to it. Traffic was moving fairly decent. We were in the ‘ahammer lane’, the lane farthest to the left. We were moving well until Juice spotted a cascading array of brake lights and began to slowly pump his brakes to slow down. By no means were we going fast, but still, Juice beagan braking as soon as he could, leaving safe distance inbetween his and other vehicles.

We began to slide. Juice kept pumping his brakes and we were decellerating but still yet, sliding. The van, who we reffer to as The Millenium Falcon (all band vehicles have a name) began to slide to the right and it was looking like we were going to turn directly around in traffic. We all braced ourselves but Juice brought us out of the spin and we were OK, still sliding, but decellerating and OK.

All of a sudden WHAM! It felt like The Falcon had been sliding on ice then hit a spot in the road with no ice... But we had been hit in the rear by a Car.
Juice brought the Falcon to rest in the emergency lane. I was OK. Julie was OK Juice was OK. Julie was OK. Juice was OK. I was OK.

We double and tripple checked each other. Jucie then looked in the rear view mirror and seen the car that hit us was facing the wrong direction of traffic. Juice grabbed his first aid kit and went EVA. Julie and I stayed where we were and became instantly sore. Juice returned several times thorughout it all to say that the people who hit us were real fucked whereas The Falcon suffered minor dmamge, the bumper was pushed in.

We remained imobile. Juice was helping the couple that hit us whos eemed OK.... Then, without warning I seen a U-Haul zoom past my window; closely, but it appeared to be stopping. I thought "How nice, someone stopping to make sure were allright."

Suddenly SMASH!!! They rammed into the wall about 60 feet in front of us.
Jucie came back to the van to say that the U-haul had lost control and had initally began sliding to where he was walking back to the van.... He seen the U-haul coming and jumped up onto the wall to avoid being smashed. The U-Haul Driver regained control just long enough to miss The Falcon only to finally hit the wall just in front of us. Juice had then left to go make sure they were OK.

Juice said that a Petroleum Truck Driver had slowed down enough to comment that Juice had some good moves and he was one lucky son of a bitch that he didnt get killed....

The guy who had been driving the car that had hit us caught up to Juice to make sure he was OK and asked Juice if he knew Jesus. "Know Jesus?" Juice commented. "I seen him face to face back there"....

Julie and I were staying right were we were. The Expressway is not the place you want to be walking around especially under the current conditions. The Juice probably shouldnt have been doing what he was but thats just not his thing. He is a good hearted person and wanted to help until professional help arrived. During all of this Juice proclaimed that in cases such as this, if everyone would jsut work together a fraction mroe than they are acustomed to, then the world would be a better place. He’s right.... Juice is a good guy and its in times liek this it shows.

Jucie had returned momentarily to retrive an ice scrapper. The U-haul’s windows were iced over apparently and they needed one. Juice grabbed the ice scrapper and went back to the U-haul.

Julie and I hunkered down for the wait. We figured it was apparent that we were not going to Louisville and had hoped Gran-Daddy, The Slobs and Reggie had decided to turn around. Traffic was still slipping and sliding all over the expressway.

WHAMMMMM!!!!! We were suddenly hit again. This time signifigantly harder! The seat I was in broke totally. I am not to sure what I hit but I did hit something with my face. My teeth were hurting. I had given Julie a 2L of Coke to sip from that pretty much exploded in her had in the impact. She was thrown foreward to the floor of The Falcon and was in a lot of pain.

The van had been hit and pushed out of the emergency lane until the front end was back into the hammer lane. I forseen the Falcon being hit more and told Julie to prepare for another impact. I didnt want to be in a posistion of climbing into the drivers side and be hit with similar force or soemthing greater. I leaned back in the broken seat as much as possible. Julie braced herself for another hit.

The driver door opened and Juice immediatly assesed if Julie and I was allright. He hopped into the drivers seat and moved the Falcon back into the relative safety of the emergency lane.

The second car that hit us had slid sideways and hit us with their passenger side. Juice checked them out but quickly came back to The Falcon to brace for more impacts as Julie and I were doing. Luckily the fire department, EMTs and Police came soon thereafter blocking off the hammer lane and giving us a bit mroe breathing room.

I was sore. Julie was really sore and Juice was startled to a degree I havent seen in our friendship to date. With due reasons thoguh, he was almost smashed by a U-haul!!!!

The Falcons doors were toast. Our Equipment was packed tightly but still was scattered. Julie said our speaker cabinets had went foreward just enough to make the impact a bit greater.

No one was sent to the hospital. Fro any of the cars. The U-haul proceeded to their destination, Florida. The first car that had hit us went and got a room for the night until they could proceed to their desintation, California... The Second car that hit us had to be towed away.

Us? We went to the next exit (Mt. Zion) were we started eating asprin and called Louisville to say we were heading back home. We came back with tons of caution....Each of us were thinking about what had happened and hoped that everyone else just decided to stay home.

The Falcon is damaged and its too soon to tell how bad. The rear doors are bent in beyond opening We had to unload all equipment from the side door.
From the place of impact, the only thing that happened was a nasty scrape on my bass case. All our equipment appears to be OK. I set up my Big rig and pluged in the Shark jsut to make sure....

The next day the weather had gotten even worse. My Mom called and said that my brother. DeWayne had told her we were going to Louisville. I told her the story and she said were lcuky because in Louisville things were jsut as bad if not worse. My brother called to tell me he had bought a white Monte Carlo SS and we were lucky to not be hurt. Juice called to make sure we hadent had to go to the hospital or didnt have to go. Apparently there was some sort of warning out too that said if you didnt have to be out, to remain at home.

Julie was real sore and I was too. I had found some left over pain medication from when I smashed my finger so I took some. Still, sore as fuck thoguh. Its looking like we will live thoguh.

As for Louisville... By time we got home John Kelly from Green Formica Table called to make sure we were allright. he said it was getting bad down there so its a good idea we turned around when we did. He said The Slobs had some problems and cancelled. I dont know what problems those were but when I tried to call Andy Slob at 11 PM, his phone was busy.

I called Sabrina and she said her, Adam and Gran-Daddy had left as planned but were delayed when Gran-Daddys car hit a pothole and got a flat. They proceeded onward though until they got into a nasty slide on the highway and almost lost it. The then turned around and came home. They were all safe.

Reggie... Well, that fucker made it farther than the rest of us. He called on his cell phone about 5AM drunker than fuck. He had assembled a carfull of aprtrons to come down to the show but I-71 got shut down and he had to get a room near a racecourse called Rosemont for the night. Between his passengers, his bottles of Vodka, liter of Jim Beam and his case of beer, and some fellow patrons at a bar inside the race course he called Pit Row Lounge, his night was working out. He was safe and cheated the grim reaper yet one mroe time.

So... our song, Closer to Death. Its about preparing for death. That part where it talks about drinking whiskey and talking to god.... That happened to me a while back. True story but I am not going into that here, now. That part about us crashing, well even though the song was written years ago, even before Juice joined the band, I think thats about last night.

UPDATE: 02.17.03 I took 8 hours perfect attendence time from work to spend the day with Julie. She had a bad night last night and is still pretty sore. I was wanting to take her to the hospital but she wasnt having it.... Im keeping a close eye on her.

Juice has been in cantact with his insurance. He goes through Progressive who even called to check up on me and Julie. They are supposed to call today too. Pretty commendable.

Im sore but nothing left over Vicodin from my finger smashing isnt helping. We should be OK. why is it that car wrecks seem to plague Blank Generation Staffers?
_________________________________________
Contact/Take off:

Shawn Abnoxious
c/o The Neus Subjex PO Box 18051 Fairfield, Ohio. 45018-0051
ShawnAbnoxious@aol.com

 
 
© blankgeneration.com 2003