Record Reviews - January, 2001

A-Bombs "Low Life Achievement" CD

Yet another Swedish rock band drawing on the '70's Detroit proto-punk/hard rock sound, and while I've never really been too heavily into the likes of THE HELLACOPTERS and GLUECIFER (don't even get me started on the BACKYARD friggin’ BABIES...), this has me hooked. The vocals are well delivered, striking a nice balance between the "rock voice" that never fails to turn me off and a rougher garagey sneer, and the rhythm section is nice and crunchy but still moves along quickly and without unnecessary frills. The real highpoint is the excellent lead playing, which channels the Sonic Smith/Deniz Tek influence much more effectively than the usual knockoffs, with a style far more fluid and natural than the first couple HELLACOPTERS records (which seem to be the benchmark of this genre), to the extent of blatantly copping a Mark Knoppfler lick on one track. Other songs invoke the DEAD BOYS (one chorus in particular sounds like a "High Tension Wire" rip to me) and early AC/DC, but these are hardly comparisons to be embarrassed by; one accepts this music as being derivative and the A-BOMBS arrange the requisite devices to highly satisfactory results. (US)
(Universal/Sweden, no address)

Aerobitch "Are You Ready?" 7"

Aerobitch are an ultra fast, heavy shot of punk rock ‘n’ roll! The vocalist, Laura Bitch, is fuckin’ hardcore baby! If you like your punk with a dose of speed and attitude you should look for these cats. However, their Zero Boys cover should have a helluva lot more intensity than what they put into it. Overall not a bad 7" though. (JD)
(Intensive Scare Records PO Box 640338 San Jose, CA 95164-0338)

Black Jax "S/T" CD

The Black Jax are a punk band outta California circa the mid 80’s. The band members cite some of their influences as the Ramones, Toy Dolls, Weirdos, and the Business. All of these groups are accurate descriptions of the Black Jax. Plus all of their tunes are catchy, melodic, and fun, particularly the small guitar solos. The sound quality is a little stale, but not dreadful. And what I find even more interesting is the fact that a newer band called the Teenage Knockouts has a sound almost identical to the Black Jax, curiouser and curiouser… Collector geeks should take note. (JD)
(Wankin’ Stiphs Records PO Box 6480 Mesa, AZ 85216)

B Movie Rats "Bad For You" CD/LP

The ‘Rats are back! This has to be the best shit I’ve heard from these punk rock ‘n’ rollers since, like, forever! Derek Christensen’s vocals just drill through song after song with tremendous power and vitality. The guitars and bass are soooo thick and juicy it’s like porterhouse steak! If you’re familiar with the whole Junk sound you should know what you’d be in for. I say, "God Damn! This is some Rock N Fuckin’ Roll!!!" Now is the time to start a… "Rock N Roll Revolution!"(JD)
(Junk Records 7071 Warner Ave. F PMB 736 Huntington Beach, CA 92647-5495)


Bombshell Rocks "City Rats & Alley Cats" CD/LP

Could you wannabe Rancid anymore? It’s like I’m fuckin’ listenin’ to an album between Let’s Go and Out Come the Wolves. I mean, they bite the sound fairly well. They’re guitar chords are catchy and the vocalist must’ve smoked a few packs of cigarettes to get that raspy voice. And Rancid bit The Clash’s sound, so I guess they couldn’t complain. So if you’re a Rancid fan you can’t complain either. (JD)
(Burning Heart Records 2798 Sunset Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90026)

Daylight Lovers "S/T" CD/LP

Another garage band from Montreal that’s ended up on Sympathy. The Daylight Lovers feature two members of late (and great) Irritations, who also happen to be the rhythm section of Les Sexareenos. They’ve actually been around over three years now, but haven’t put anything out besides two singles and a few songs on that Sultan comp, so this is their "debut" album. All 16 songs here are really good, with a few big standouts ("That’s How Many Girls" and "Ten Cents Cheaper" among them), but even if this is way better recorded than their other stuff, the production here seems a little flat. It was recorded at the same place that Les Sexareenos recorded their album at in Detroit, but it feels quite a bit less lively than the aforementioned album. They sound like the "Montreal garage sound" (ya know what I mean if you’ve heard The Spaceshits, Tricky Woo, The Irritations or The Kamikazes) with a dash of The Real Kids, and they rock. But I think these guys shoulda spent a little more time in the studio, because this doesn’t jump out at you and shake the piss outta ya’ like it should (like they do live on a regular basis). It’s still a pretty damn good record and worth seeking out, but I can’t help feeling that it coulda been a classic had they twisted a couple more knobs or something to make this spring out at you more. (SA)

Dickies "The Incredible Shrinking Dickies" CD

It’s about fuckin’ time this album got re-released. Classic 1979 debut from the American Rezillos. I spent years looking for this album after I heard it being played on a college radio show many moons ago. Now, it’s been re-released twice in the same fuckin’ year (the other one being a rather expensive bootleg CD-R with early 45’s). What you get here is the quite "incredible" original 13-song album copped with 5 bonus tracks. The Dickies were a lot less poppy and more driven in a "Rocket To Russia crossed with New Wave"-kinda way in those days, so this is an absolute must for anyone, even if ya’ don’t like their newer stuff. Is it just me, or has pretty much EVERYTHING been re-released in the last two years? Quite the coup, I must say, for Captain Oi to get to re-issue this and The Saints "Eternally Yours" in consecutive years (even though you can’t help but notice how out of place the two look with the rest of their catalog). (SA)
(Captain Oi!, c/o P.O. BOX 501, High Wycombe, Bucks, England, HP10 8QA)

Donnas "Turn 21" CD/LP

The Donnas are a marketing ploy. Four young girls with guitars and tight clothes.. Looks are only gonna take you so far, you know. Your music is what I care about, or cared about. Saying they’re a wannabe AC/DC is too good for these rejects. This fucking music sucks! It’s pathetic! If you want rock ‘n’ roll, rock ‘n’ fuckin’ roll, pick up a Turbonegro record, or an early Humpers record, anything. But for god's sake do not buy this waste of plastic. (JD)
(Lookout! Records)

First Alert "On Secret Mission" CD/12"

Ready To Go Now? I believe this is First Alert’s only release for 2000. If you liked their full-length Thrills and Spills of 48 Hours and their last single "Trade the Life" you’ll probably like their latest release too. They continue with the mod vibrancy, but have really tightened up and musically they blow just about every band I’ve heard away. Hiroyuki’s bass lines are just flawless on this CD. Songs like "There’s No Tomorrow" and "Parade Ground" are the standouts of the four tracks on the CD. I just hope this is just a teaser for a much anticipated 2nd album. (JD)
(Time Bomb Records Toporo 51 Bldg., 2-18-18 Nishi-shinsaibashi, Chuo-ku, Osaka, 542-0086 Japan)

Hellacopters/Flaming Sideburns 10"/CD

I wrote off the Hellacopters a long time ago when I heard them on some comp, don’t ask me to recall which one. Then I heard a great tune of theirs on my friend’s radio show and got very confused. I mean, that monster ballad shit just plain sucks! I like what the Hellacopters fire out on this disc, just good old 70’s rock ‘n’ roll, with plenty on drinks to go around. Of course if you turn these Smokey Robinson tunes into ballads I’ll hunt you down and slit your fucking throat! "Whole Lot of Shakin’ In My Heart (Since I Met You)", "Get Ready", good shit! Their last tune, "Ungrounded Confusion" is another cover, originally by The Flaming Sideburns who just happen to be on the flipside of this disc. These boys have gotten a lot better since I last heard ‘em. The soulful pianos and smooth organs really rub me the right way and it’s all rock ‘n’ roll from here on baby. The FB’s kick it with two of their own, "Emotional Son" and "Shake-In", and The Hellacopters’ song "Psyched Out and Furious." Bad Afro Records knows what you bitches want so get on it sucka! (JD)
(Bad Afro Records Poste Restante, Frederiksberg Alle 6 1820 Frederiksberg C, Denmark)

Hellbenders/Safety Pins "Split" CD/LP

The Hellbenders fuckin’ rock! This CD features their best work yet! Every one excites your nerves and fuels your aggression! The Hellbenders are a symphony of vulgar fuckin’ punk rock ‘n’ roll! They’ve add all these hooks and even more guitar solos, I love the guitar solos! "Glitter and Shit", "The More I Drink (The Better You Look)", if you don’t get the Hellbenders you don’t get rock ‘n’ roll! Now, let’s get sweaty!

The Safety Pins… continue to bore me. I think it’s the vocals, they sound like a bear, a boring bear. I preferred the vocals on their Munster records. They were equivalent to someone screaming down a tunnel in the dead of night. And yet Dead Beat manages to stick a track on this record that perks up my attention, a track called "Heartbeat." The periodic keyboards and guitars are like a steel drill in your ear. You want to take it out, but it feels kinda good. The song reminds me of a dark night in October, right before Halloween, when all the trees have lost their leaves… eerie. (JD)
(Dead Beat Records PO Box 283 Los Angeles, CA 90078)

Insomniacs "Get Something Going" CD/LP

Hey! Here’s a new Insomniacs! I like these boys, but the slick production has gotta go. Their sound has a 60’s mod/rock ‘n’ roll feel with a lot of great hooks, but the production sounds too clean. I like a little tape hiss, a little muck. I like my rock ‘n’ roll to sound as if it was recorded out of a dumpster! If you’re a monster Insomniacs fan definitely get this. Everyone else, give it a listen at the record store and decide for yourselves. There’re 13 songs including, "Funkensteen", a kick ass cover of "That’s Alright", and "Anywhere in the World." (JD)
(Estrus Records PO Box 2125 Bellingham, WA 98227)

Jed Whitey "Alrighty..." 2X7"

Hailing from distant Perth, Australia, JED WHITEY debut here with a solid set of five tough, driving heavy rock rumblers distributed over four red vinyl sides. The sound is a rhythmic shuffle, powered by a huge bass and played significantly faster than other bands mining similar territory, but remaining impressively catchy for such powerful material. This record, self-released by the band and limited to 500 numbered copies, is well worth tracking down. That said, their new 12" takes the KYUSS/BLACK FLAG damage and plays it faster and heavier yet, easily pushing it into the 'mandatory' category for fans of the genre and ensuring that JED WHITEY is a name that we can all expect to be hearing much more of in the near future. (US)
(JED WHITEY PO box 616, Mount Lawley WA, 6929 Australia /

Les Séquelles "Il m’arrive souvent de penser à toi" 7"

French 60’s garage revival from Montreal. While what Les Séquelles play here is far from earth shatteringly original, they sound as authentic to the real deal as you can get in this day n’ age. This is a very live sounding recording, especially present in the crispness of the drums, the loud clarity of the guitars and bass and the echoing wail of the male and female vocal leads –- or, in other words, they capture the 60’s sound & feel without sounding like a third rate Billy Childish or Chesterfield Kings rip off. I really like how they subtly use the fuzzbox in a couple of their tunes (instead of going for the fuzz overkill like many so-called "revivalists") and the two yéyé influenced 60’s French tunes here sound at least as good as April March does (if not a little less close to the source inspiration). A very good single with 4 songs here (2 of which, at least, are covers) on blue vinyl that are definitely worth checking out. (SA)
(Le Pick-up, 4383 St-Denis, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, H2J 2L2)

Mooney Suzuki "People Get Ready" CD/LP

These boys are almost there… They are so close to becoming one of the greats. So what’s stopping them? Well, they made a crucial mistake in the "record biz"; they put out a "half-ass record." Now I don’t mean that in a snide or arrogant way. Their song "Oh No" has to be the best rock ‘n’ roll songs I’ve heard all year, maybe in two years! It’s is so good that it could match the likes of the Rolling Stones, the Kinks, all those bands from 60’s Britain. "Oh No" is a hit. And almost every other song on the record can not match its excellence. You could buy this record and be perfectly content. But for me, I could copy two or three songs off the CD and not think twice about listening to the rest of album. (JD)
(Estrus Records PO Box 2125 Bellingham, WA 98227)

Mushuganas: "Including American Heartbreak ‘98" CD

The fact that I’m neither a resident of the greater Chicagoland area nor familiar with the rest of the Mushuganas’ work makes me the ideal person for reviewing this record. Ideal because I won’t be able to play that stupid fucking game of punk rock jingoism that so many take part in these days; also ideal because I won’t have to piss and moan about the fact that this record may or may not sound like the last full-length they put out. Hell, this CD can pretty much stand on its own anyway.

The first thing that I actually noticed about this CD is the lead singer’s vocals. They’re probably the most Lemmy-like vocals I’ve heard that don’t suggest any kind of copycat imitation, which is a good thing. Craig’s voice seems to work with the straight-no-chaser thick guitar sound and pounding, thumping percussion section that you’d expect from any rock ’n’ roll band--’cause that’s what these guys are, for better of for worse--in way that kinda says, "Hey, these guys know what the hell they’re doing."

The Motorhead-isms don’t stop there. No, there doesn’t seem to be a double bass drum present on the whole CD, and I’m not really sure if Craig has any Cocoa Puffs glued to his face, but the similarities are there, pal. Here you have guitar, bass, drums, and the willingness to just forego all of the rock posturing bullshit in favor of just fucking playing good music. You got songs like "Shoulda Seen it Coming" that tell you right from the start that they mean business. You got songs like "The Deacon" that hook you by your fucking neck when they tell you about the girl who needed to "Rise up! Rise up!" You got songs like "Anytime" that are, well, pretty good. Is this CD essential? No, but it’s not bad. Should you buy it? Hell, I don’t know, do you like rock music? (EL)
($10 ppd c/o Aaron Aspinwall, P.O Box 802, Downer’s Grove, IL, 60515-4710)

Numbers "Music Design" 10"

The Numbers… sort of a cross between the Stitches and the Humpers. They certainly give it their all in a mix of blood, rock and alcohol. I can’t say I’m blown over by their songs, it’s more a feeling you get when you listen to it. It’s energy punk. It makes you want to go out and do something rather than sit in your room and be a vegetable. Get off the computer and go out for a change. (JD)
(Dead Beat Records PO Box 283 Los Angeles, CA 90078)

Oxymoron "The Singles" CD

This group is one of the best punk bands of the 90’s, hands fucking down. If you’re looking for a 70’s UK punk sound with modernized lyrics for our times you have to look up Oxymoron. This here CD contains all they’re early singles, before the not so good Westworld album. There is also a 10-page booklet detailing Oxymoron’s history. "Dead End Generation", "Beware, Poisonous", "Crisis Identity", they’re all here with enhanced digital quality. This CD is very significant since all their 45s are way out of print. (JD)
(Cyclone Records 24 Pheasant Run Merrimack, NH 03054)

Radio Shanghai "Huv I the Right?" 7"

One more phenomenal 45 by one of the finest bands I’ve heard this year! Radio Shanghai continues in their new wave/’79 punk sound, but this time they’ve added a bit of a twist to their tunes. Both, "Huv I the Right?" and "Artificial Work" have been modified with small special effects that only assist the catchy melodies in their songs. This record is first choice for 7" of the year. Play At Your Sister. (JD)
(Target Earth c/o Masao Nakagami 505 Lupinus Hiranuma 1-1-15 Hiranuma Nishi-Ku, Yokohama 220-0023 Japan)


Raincoats "S/T" CD

I am Shawn Abnoxious. I am part of the Blank Generation. I’m going to get on the level with you all on this one. I’m still basically new around these parts. I’m a flake. NOT a fake, a FLAKE. I’m weird. I’m strange. I admit and forewarn. Here I sit, doing this review when The Blank Generation web site is "on vacation"... I mean what the fuck? Mr. Domino nearly breaks his fucking wrist bowling BUT he can still find time to venture abroad and drink martinis on the French Rivera? "Vacation" Yeah, right...

Anyway, like I said, I’m going to level with you all about this release. It’s a bootleg. Well, not even really a bootleg. It’s a pirated piece of music. A 'Pirate Disc' if you will. A friend of a friend told a friend that a friend had this CD they bought from a LEGITIMATE record store so this friend went to another friends house and burnt me a copy of this on his COMPACT DISC BURNER; and even went the extra mile and scanned the cover to put in a CD case AS IF I was getting a LEGITIMATE compact disc. Fuck yeah! Year 2K1 and I’m having some fun! FUCK THE NEW MILLENIUM. Fuck you Metallica. Fuck your lil' Napster battle. Fuck your band too. "Speed Metal!" Who gives a fuck anyway? "One" was your coolest attempt at making something worthwhile and that’s just because of the video... Target spotted [music industry] FIRE TORPEDOS! BLAM!!!! "Sir, we hit the vessel on the port side and did about $15 dollars worth of damage" "Excellent Ensign, bring the sub around to a heading of 45 degrees and dive! Dive!! DIVE!!!!"

I don’t know much about the Raincoats. I Guess will have to pick up my copy of Jon Savages England’s Dreaming and see what he has to say about this band. Nah, knowledge is for winners and if a loser likes me gets a PIRATED Compact disc like this dropped into their lap, then I WANNA BE A LOSER! The Raincoats. Minimal. Savage. Art-punk. Damage. Slits-ish. Punk scenes ROUND THE GLOBE need more bands like this one. Out-there. Experimental. You like ESG? The Raincoats aren’t proto-disco-art-rock like that but just as worthwhile. They cover "Lola" by the Rolling Stones and kick some ass. I know Rolling Stones didn’t originally do "Lola" but who cares? I mean whose review is this YOURS or mine. If you had any balls you would be going to reading the latest info on the First USSR Satellite in outer space. If you get a copy of this disc and aren’t punching plaster walls when you hear "Black and White" then dammit YOU FUCKING SUCK. What the fuck? Did THE BEAT HAPPENING get a hold of this and PAY ATTENTION? Is that some Eno-ish guitar I hear in there? Didn’t Polyrock rip Enos guitar sound off for their stuff? Yes to both. YES 2 BOTH! Electric Violin! Sounds like someone’s killing a refrigerator. Why cant Michelle Shock’s stuff be this fucking cool? You figure with a cool name like Michelle Shock she would be DARING. Nope. Anchored down in Anchorage? FUCKING WHAT??? I don’t get it. Patti Smith was in the Raincoats. Nope, she wasn’t. I know that last sentence got all you MUSIC BUFFS out there all amped up.

FUCK!!!! AGH! While writing this review the powers that be... indeed, terrorists once again discovered a new weakness and sent a Spider on the attack from within the desk drawer that sits in the desk, that sits on a run, that sits in the kitchen. Don’t ask yourself why? It’s a spider! Vegetables. Spiders. Two (2) on my ever growing list of Arch-nemesis’s! I couldn’t even find a rolled up magazine to smash it with before its retreat. It’s toying with me. Letting me know it’s here and stalking. Letting me know with its MANY legs, and fangs, and evil spider eyes... AGH! There it is again. Chills of fright run through my body. I break out in chills. I find a notebook and kept near the phone on the desk I mentioned before AND SMASHED THE FUCKER. "Your a Million" is playing this very same instant the spiders life ceases. One down, and an unknown amount more to go. The point of this review? Let me sum it up. Raincoats good. music industry good. PIRATING music, BETTER. Killing Spiders? THE BEST! (SAB)
(No Address, Obviously)

Rocket from the Crypt "Group Sounds" CD

And here’s the latest from Rocket from the Crypt, ladies and gentlemen, guaranteed to be the new dance craze. Hard-hitting, fuzzed-up melodic guitars coupled with graciously used, soulful horns can mean only one thing: a match made in heaven! Seriously, people... it cured my sinus infection and cast out my kidney stone! 13 tracks that summon and release all of their ingenuity, creating an unstoppable rock ‘n’ roll monster. Tracks like "Carne Voodoo", "White Belt", and "Return of Liar" will seriously kick your ass, whereas "SOS" and "Ghost Shark" will help you maintain those drunken moments of self-loathing you know you love to wallow in. (MB)
(Vagrant Records 2118 Wilshire Blvd. #361 Santa Monica, CA 904003)

Rocket from the Crypt/Get-Up Kids "Split" 7"

This 7" is a fine prelude to RFTC’s Group Sounds album. "Free Language Demons" is their new song found on this split 7" with the Get-Up Kids. The Get-Up Kids? Oh, actually, I didn’t listen to that side... (MB)
(Vagrant Records 2118 Wilshire Blvd. #361 Santa Monica, CA 904003)

Rocks "Combat Zone" LP

The Rocks’ sound is a bizarre unification of 1980’s hardcore punk and pop punk. If you dig short, fast songs with excellent drumming then try ‘em out. I wasn’t too thrilled with them, but I’m not into this kind of music, so the review reflects that. Whatcha gonna dooo about it? (JD)
(No Address)

Starvations "A Blackout To Remember…" CD

I remember these dudes from their awesome debut 45. This album is the Starvations latest work. They obviously have a country rock ‘n’ roll influence to go with their garage sound. The whole album seems very dark and moody, like they’re the sons of Johnny Cash or somethin’. Personally, I think their record is average. They just lack the energy I heard on their debut 7", like in that song "Shut Up Sirens." However, there are a couple of prominent songs on this CD, like "Queen Bee’s Lament" and "Church of the Doublecross", just not enough to make me want to pay for the record. (JD)
(Revenge Records 423 Bryson Springs Costa Mesa, CA 92627)

Sultans "Ghost Ship" CD/LP

This surly group of rock ‘n’ roll pirates, lead by the Slasher (a.k.a. RFTC’s Speedo), were the greatest band of 2000, and will be the most promising of 2001. Watch for ‘em kids, watch for ‘em. This record is super lo-fi, gritty punk rock super-saturated in catchy riffs and sing-alongs. Some advice to you though, many speeding tickets will haunt you if you play this in your car. "Just a Fool (that’s down)", "Trust No One", "Your Mouth is Open and Your Eyes are Shut", "The Year of Regret"... I could go on, but actually, every song on this album fucking rocks. Stop hating yourself and go smash a beer bottle over someone’s head instead. That’s a much healthier state of mind. If you didn't get the CDEP, then pick up this full-length on vinyl, which has those songs. However, if you do not have a record player then I guess you're shit outta luck, now aren't you? (MB)

Teen Crud Combo "S/T" 7"

Starting with what is essentially a rough '82 hardcore sound and adding a bit more primal rock 'n' roll at the heart, Toronto's TEEN CRUD COMBO display their heavy ZEKE/MOTORHEAD influences to great effect on this debut EP. Live they were very fast, raw, and energetic, all qualities that remain at the forefront here. While the somewhat muddy production muffles a bit of their abundant power, they benefit here from a slightly slower pace, Allyson's tasty MOTORHEAD riffs are getting a bit more room to breathe than when drummer, Mark, used to blast away at early GANG GREEN speeds live. They had songs like 'This insults women' and 'Beaver County, Population Nick' (the latter found here) some truly wild shows and constant mean-spirited antagonism of Toronto's Glam/Poser garage scene made their rep locally, and this scorcher of a record should help spread the word. So if you like your punk rock fast, loud and obnoxious make sure to track down a copy ASAP. (US)
(Black Lung: PO Box 976, Morgantown WV, 26507 USA)

Teen Dogs "S/T" 7"

I want to dig these guys. They aren’t really doing anything that isn’t in the rock ‘n’ roll handbook. The Teen Dogs play some tight, fast, punk/pop. It’s just that their material doesn’t have those hooks that get you caught up in a song. Maybe the future will smile on these boys, but right now I say, "Neh." (JD)
(No Tomorrow Apdo 1134 12080 Castellon, Spain)

Testors (featuring: Sonny Vincent) "Original Punk Recordings New York City 1976-1977" 10"EP

This is yet ONE MORE of my missives. Get comfortable. Get that bottle of gin and sit down with me awhile.... There’s this thing called THE BIG MESS. It’s a lifestyle; it’s a mentality. It HUNTS you and CLAIMS you. You don’t claim it. It seems no matter what; the things you do, say and ATTEMPT to pull off go wildly astray. Things get broke. People get mad. You aren’t even trying!!!! Live in the dirt and appreciate the failure of what surrounds you. Losing is winning. Survival of the fittest? Nah. That’s bullshit. Its only when you learn to live with the chaos, when you learn to deal with THE BIG MESS when you finally grasp the MEANING, the definition of Life.... Jimmy Pervert, who has been called Jim the Amish lately because he has taken to sporting a beard (and its manicured too), Jim was told a while back when he first started growing his beard that he looked like Jim Morisson from The Doors. For about a month when he walked into a room people would bust out singing "LA Woman" or "The End". Well anyway, Jim shit in this bathtub the other night at a party. Why? The Big Mess. That’s why....

Kenny "Rock-Action", you know him, he’s a fellow Blank Generationer, just recently, during the Detox Police, blew the crotch of his white jeans out. He did this and didn’t care. Why? He knew it was all part of the big, messy picture. We (meaning him AND me) sang "Eyes of Satan" while Radar Secret Service belted out the music. Kenny said he would always remember it.... Kent, Ohio. Snowed the whole way up. You could call it bare knuckle driving except it’s being called red knuckle driving because Jerry skinned the fuck out of his hand while loading up. Tension....

Matt the Junglecat sits in a chair and it breaks. He goes spilling into the floor while a band called Ditchweed is playing. Everyone laughs and instead of getting embarrassed, he goes with it. He rolls around on the ground and acts out the whole bit. He doesn’t spill one drop of his Burger Beer either. Why did the chair break? The Big Mess....

The Dynamite On play in Dayton at some fucking country bar that has animal heads hanging on the wall. Its a pretty odd place that I never been in but I know all about it. Anyway, they end up getting banned from ever playing there again because the bar tender thought Sam "Miami Vice" (AKA "Human#8") was '; getting it on' with some girl when all they were doing was swapping spit. "You’re a cunt!" Sam told the tender. "What'd you say to me? What'd you call me?" she responded. "I called you a cunt!" Sam said. Then as a unit Dynamite On exited the place and was told never to come back, I didn’t see this all go down but Andy (the On's drummer) told me all about it today, Andy told me that they [Dynamite On] ended up winning out of the whole deal because they got $20 in cold/hard cash and their bar tab, which was supposed to come out of their pay at the end of the night) was overlooked in the chaos of the ousting. Apparently, and I have seen the Ons drink before so I believe this, Andy said they drank way more than $20 in beer and slow gin fizzes' Why? The Big Mess!!!

I sit in Kill the Hippies Mantua Ave keep. Matt (KTH Guitar) brings me a bottle of Gin. He had been taking the bottle on tour from person to person throughout the after-show party. I force him to sit down and drink it with me. He does so. I soon get up. Go to the bathroom. Puke in the sink. Clean it up and as everyone, including my adoptive sister, Melissa from KTH, ask me if I’m all right I tell her and them. "Yeah, there's just some Sci-fi shit in there." Then I passed out only to wake up in a dark room with members of the Socials, and Detox Police sprawled out on the ground everywhere. Kenny is listening to Jurassic 5 and other old rap bands like UTFO, Curtis Blow, Slick Rick and rappin' to his sweetheart as they hug and lay on hardwood floors with one pillow and one blanket between them. THE BIG MESS! Luke Skywalker has his FORCE. Even the Darth Vader has the FORCE. We, the humble minority sitting amongst the garbage and broken things, have THE BIG MESS!

Now, you sat through all of that because this BIG MESS thing isn’t anything new. The Testors had it. This 10" proves it; it’s the best taste from this band yet by far. The other Incognito 10" was great. The Rave Up LP was up to par with the first 1, but this tops them both. This 10" has five unreleased studio tracks and one live track of one of the best punk-rock songs EVER; "Awmaw"! You see, apparently, as the liner notes read, Sonny Vincent would play this song to clear the room of the non-believers. The song begins with about a minute and a half of guitar noise. I suppose rooms cleared. Some soundmen wouldn’t even work with the Testors because their sound was DANGEROUS. This 10" proves it! In my eyes, The Testors still make The Dead Boys sound like they never took their Youngstown bell-bottoms off. The Testors make the Dead Boys look like fucking butterflies! Lil' sweet, caring, peace loving, peaceful butterflies! The Testors are the dirty rats. They ARE the cracks on the sidewalk. They are the stale vomit smell you get when you go into an unfamiliar venue. Rooster Booster and Rich Lathers from Crimson Sweet hit the nail on the head: There's a certain level of filth you expect in any viable venue you’re about to play in. If the filth don’t exist, then stay uncomfortable! In some cases I know that the Testors were the type of band to welcome the filth when they walked into a suspecting venue. Other times I would say that the Testors were perhaps the element of Filth to a place they walked into. Either way I bet they were ready, willing, and able! This 10" is right up my alley. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t have given it the time of day. The Testors. Pioneers! St. Vincent! (SAB)
(Incognito Records)

Texas Terri & The Stiff Ones "Eat Shit!" CD

Sordid Punk Rock. There’s a whole mishmash of snot just draining out of my speakers. Texas Terri obviously has a thing for Stiv and the boys. Although, some of her lyrics are bordering on cheesy, others are pretty punk. The Stiff Ones pour it on thick in songs like, "Situation", "Oh, Yeah", and "Cave Women." While this is nothing "neoteric" about their style, they get the job done. (JD)
(Burning Tree Records 10938 Magnolia, #227 North Hollywood, CA 91601)

White Stripes "De Stijl" CD/LP

Another release I've ignored for far too long. Why? I dunno'. I guess I wasn't that impressed with the single I had. Whoops. Guy/gal two person thud. I like the bombastic moments (a few of these songs somehow conjure up both Led Zep and Black Sabbath - don't ask me) over the acoustical ones, the whole shebang has been growing on me like crazy. I'm convinced that "The Big Three Killed my Baby" is one of the best songs I've heard in years. Unique, soulful and a solid top tenner. Note - Rolling Stone reviewed this record for some god fersaken' reason. (TK)

© 2003