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DOT DASH YEAR III

Thursday, July 21, 2005
Southpaw, Brooklyn, New York

I arrived at my friend's apartment in Park Slope at around 9:00 pm Thursday night and immediately began to worry whether or not I'd be able to see Kajun SS if the doors had opened at 9:00 pm, like my ticket had indicated. A quick call to crack reporter Dave Hyde (currently at the scene of the crime) quelled my fears.

"I don't think you're going to miss anything man, the power's out." Dave said.

"Power's out? How long will it take to come back? Did anything happen?"

"Somehow the power is out just on the block the club is on. We're standing around. It's great."

My racing heart subsided a bit and I declined my friend's roommate's offer to slow it further with a little mary jane as we made our way down to the club. We show up to a bunch of hair gelled, pasty faced, tight pantsed, converse wearing, halitosis incubating anorexic Southern rejects waiting around in the humid Brooklyn air while an Edison Power truck flashed it's warning across the crowd every two seconds, reflecting off the 1" Kids and Teengenerate pins attached to every penetrable surface.

Chad SS by Icki

I looked around and saw friends scattered to the four corners of the intersection and made my way around after buying a beer. How I love New York and its open container allowances. Lots of salutations were given and received, watermelon tits were autographed, dark alleys were denuded in the search for hidden booze and finally the power kicked on. Not that this brought any cheer from the crowd of those who were a bit too tragically hip to care about finally getting to see modern miracles like Kajun SS and to hear those midwestern champion cro-magnons Zero Boys.

No, we as a whole stood in line while the door let in five people at a time. Mind you, this is the rumor that was going through the line. Your fearless writer is a bit too polite to push his way in, demanding entrance because he's from out of town. So we waited. We waited through Tie Reds. This was made apparent when a member of the band was walking amongst the line giving away copies of his band's 15 song CD. I still haven't listened to mine, on the off chance that hearing what I missed that night will drive me insane. I say this because I also happened to miss Kajun SS's set while standing in line for another twenty minutes. Myself, along with a good 70% of the night's attendees from what I could see outside. This was bullshit! I was especially mad at myself because I had missed them before in Austin, TX this summer. In theory I should've seen Louie and the boys three times now, but I've only managed to see them once at the Blackout.

Sometime around 11-11:30 pm, security realized what kind of idiots they were and decided to be the type that let everybody in, not just five every five minutes. Whether this was divine intervention, Tom Dash intervention, or whatever, let's be thankful it happened. From there on out it was out of the frying pan and into the fire as we entered the club. The sticky, wet, no-good-beer-that-is-cold fire. To make matters worse, I walked in in the beginning of the Baseball Furies' set. It's not that I dislike them, it's that I'm just ambivalent about the Furies and what they play. I felt the same way in Chicago earlier in the summer and nothing they did managed to change my mind on this night. However, the last thing I wanted to do was go right back outside, so I stuck around inside, acclimated myself to the darkness and started getting ready for The Spits and Zero Boys (and consequently forgetting about missing Kajun SS) by purchasing multiple space age bottles of stale Budweiser.

The club cleans things up on stage and Tom Dash comes out. He announces what we've all been waiting for that evening; it's the fucking Zero Boys behind that curtain and they're going to play a show for us just like we were at a VFW hall in Indianapolis circa 1981. The crowd responded accordingly, slam dancing to "Forced Entry", pumping their fists in the air for "Civilization's Dying" and stage diving to "Livin' in the 80s." Everybody was finally doing all the moves they practiced in bedrooms for years before tonight, and Zero Boys sounded just like what they knew coming out of their speakers. New guitarist? Eh, still sounds like Zero Boys and that's what mattered! By my count, they played pretty much everything you could've wanted, save for "Mom's Wallet" from Master Tape.

Finally, The Spits mounted the stage with their homemade robots and bottle rocket guitars and proceeded to take incoming beer bottle missiles for the next thirty minutes. Absolutely fantastic. It seemed to me that these guys have always been a band to see a lot more than they are a band to listen to, unless your listening is preceeded by a twelve pack and is taking place at a frat house. Finally seeing them live confirmed my feelings on the subject. Yours may differ. I don't care.

Zero Boys Fistbanging Mania by Icki

The evening wound down after their set, people exchanged small talk about what to do tomorrow and everybody was off. The first night went down with a few big mistakes that may have left some big regrets, but it was still a solid opening to a great little set of shows in the Big Apple.

JESSE'S DOT DASH TOP 10:
1. Teengenerate/Firestarter/etc.
2. Crif Dogs
3. Cheeseless slice at Rosario's
4. Flight Club
5. Reatards
6. Zero Boys
7. King Louie One Man Band
8. Jeffrey Novak One Man Band
9. Jeffrey Novak Weed Smoking Machine
10. being able to drink on the street in NYC

Text by Jesse Conway
Pics by Mark Murrmann


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