Eric Lastname's Year in Review
2004: Bought a lot of records. Listened to a lot of
singles. Went to SXSW.
Showed up at the Blackout. Moved, went broke.
Stopped buying a lot of
records. Discovered the cure for cancer (promiscuous
unprotected sex). Got a job. Started buying records
again. Decent year.
Top 10 Albums:
1. Hunches "Hobo Sunrise" (In the Red)
I couldn't possibly kiss this band's ass any more than
I already have,
but I'll leave it at this: Potential realized.
Powerful, ugly,
beautiful and great.
2. Black Time "Blackout" (Concrete Life)
Loved this the moment the needle dropped. Sneering
loser punk dirges
done up right.
3. Reigning Sound "Too Much Guitar" (In the Red)
Loudest RS effort to date, which, in my book, might
make it the best.
Killer covers.
4. Black Lips "We Did Not Know the Forest Spirit Made
the Flowers Grow"
(Bomp)
A fucking hoot from start to finish -- crazier than
the debut, even
eerie at some parts, and still stoopit enough for your
next dumb party.
5. AluminumKnotEye "Trunk Lunker" (Trickknee
Productions)
Schizophrenic static meets punk meets garage meets my
stereo on a
regular basis for at least three months.
6. Ponys "Laced with Romance" (In the Red)
Good band, good record.
7. Lids S/T (Rip Off Records)
Lucky for you and me, some people still care enough to
make shit that
sounds like this -- poppy, punky, trashy. Best Rip
Off album in ages.
8. Clorox Girls S/T (Smart Guy Records)
A real grower with some legit hits. Big production
that suits the
band, and the hooks are monsters.
9. Dipers "How to Plan Successful Parties" (Omnibus
Records)
The third tune on here with the "Shake it/Uh!/Shake
it/Uh!" chorus remains lodged in my brainpan days
after I listen to it. Sludgy pop? A-Frames meets
somethingerother? Yeah, sure.
10. Lost Sounds "Future Touch" 12" (In the Red)
Not a full length, but, hey, eat shit. Big and
bombastic, the way this band is meant to be heard.
Awesome cover of Digital Leather's "Black Flowers,"
a.k.a. "Some Other Title (I Can't Remember What)."
Top 10 Singles:
1. Tokyo Electron "Make Me Bleed" (Solid Sex Lovie
Doll Records)
Recalls the halcyon days of the Reatards. Hateful,
evil sounding
trash. Love it.
2. Headache City "Knee Jerk Reaction" (Shit Sandwich
Records)
Very, very addictive pop fun. If you play the title
track for your
friends, they will not forget it.
3. Gorilla Angreb S/T (Kick-n-Punch Records)
Doesn't even sound like it was recorded in the last
decade. Awesome
female-led moody punk from Sweden that could easily
pass as a Back To
Front rarity.
4. Feelers "Furher's New Miniskirt" (Death by Noise
Records)
Crazed and cool. One of the loudest bands I saw last
year, too.
5. Damnation Kids "Runaway" (PTrash)
"College Rock" is completely fucking idiotic (as are
the lyrics to
every song here), but that chorus is a winner.
6. Real Losers "Let's Go Totally Nutzoid!" (Wrench
Records)
The title track is a precusor to nights spent
face-down 'faced. Whatta band!
7. Tunnel of Love "Time (Don't You Pass Me By)" (Tapes
Records)
The brutally great "(I Wanna Be A) Teenage Suicide"
makes me wanna cut my own tongue out, but then again,
what doesn't?
8. Tyrades "Incarcerated" (Die Slaughterhaus)
"Who's Gonna Pass the PCP?" is a keeper.
9. Fatals "Angry" (Nasty Product)
Crown Prince of the three 45s these Frenchies
unloaded.
10. Blank-Its "Johnny's Tongue" (Band Its Records)
Sticky like peanut butter. Sounds like a mid-tempo
Spits, or maybe psychedelic pop-punk. Either way,
cool 45 from a promising band.
Best Reissue:
Crime "San Francisco's Still Doomed" LP/CD (Swami
Records)
SF's first and only blah-blah finally get their legit
due. Sloppy train wreck messes collide with bonehead
r'n'r leads and somehow, some way, it sounds killer.
How retarded are those basslines? Very.
Favorite Show:
The Hunches @ SXSW's In the Red Records Showcase
(Beerland)
Fucking amazing. And I don't use the "a" word often.
Best Food:
Pete's Pizza (3737 N. Western Ave. Chicago, IL 60618)
You walk westward on Addison and take a right on
Western and go for a few blocks and there it is:
Pete's. It's a real treat. The sauce is the secret.
Primo sauce. And they load that goddamned pie up with
mozz cheese and you'll love it. Seriously.
Best Music DVD:
Wire "On the Box" (Pink Flag)
Inspiring, moody set from '79 as performed on
Germany's "Rockpalast" TV program. Band's probably at
their most potent form here as they pound out the hits
from "Chairs Missing" and "154." Only complaint is
that Lewis won't stop yelping into the mike like a
dumbfug during inappropriate moments, which nearly
kills the momentum.
Favorite Night I Got Drunk (That One Thursday):
It was some night early in December and I says "Doug,
I just got a job. Let's go out!" and he says "OK" and
we head on over to the Rainbo and he proceeds to buy
me drinks and feed me cigarettes all night and we just
started walking up to randoms and bullshitting like
idjits and Doug starts talking to girls even though he
can't even form complete sentences and somehow I start
playing sloppy kissyface with this one who I still to
this day exchange awkward glances with at the same bar
and my friends throw shit at me and yell stuff at me
and I got one hour of sleep before going to work the
next day and didn't even get to shower. I smelled
like a barroom floor and looked like death warmed
over. No one at work said anything.
Favorite Extracurricular Activity:
Masturbating (Sex w/ Yourself)
You bet!
Most Insular Myopic Wannabe Rock Crit Horseshit
Webzine:
Terminal Boredom (www.terminal-boredom.com)
Pathetic nerdy boys' club fulla assholes who sit on
the comp all day and try to prove how cool and
intelligent they are by using the written word to
justify liking/not liking your band. Sexist,
homophobic. Also: Poor writing.
Eric Lastname
2216 W. Addison St.
Chicago, IL 60618
mrlastname - at - yahoo.com
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